Architecture personal statement example to download in Word format

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Published: 29th June 2019
Word count: 653 words
File format: Text

Ever since I can remember, I have been exceedingly fascinated by how our surroundings are built and designed. The interactions that humans have with the built environments around the entire world is one of the main factors that influenced my goals and the path that I would partake once I graduated High School. After my evident decision to seek a future in the architecture world, I decided to take my first step into the future by enrolling myself in Florida International University, where I started and continue to form a part of its College of Communications, Architecture and The Arts whilst pursuing a degree in the Architecture Accelerated Masters program.

With my acceptance to this program, I was allowed to begin my journey towards all of my educational and career goals. My educational aspirations consist of studying and obtaining a degree in Florida International University, one of the best and insightful universities and programs of the United States, and later on, to acquire my architecture license. With my architecture license, I plan on creating my own architecture firm that will assist and stimulate my long-term career goals, which includes being involved in the revitalization of a community or communities through architecture starting at my home, Puerto Rico.

Architects have a social responsibility that goes back to the belief that architecture can create better places, that it can affect society, and that it can have a very influential role in making a community a more suitable living space and that it can certainly have a positive effect on the wellbeing and the quality of life of a community. With the landfall of Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico on September 2017, the island was devastated in every sense whether it was an economical, environmental, socio-cultural, architectural, etc. Up to today, almost a year later, and still thousands of people in the Puerto Rican community still have no power and no jobs thanks to the damages caused by this hurricane and it is assumed that it will take numerous years to restore Puerto Rico’ infrastructure into what it once was. Without a doubt, it is one of the most destructive and unfortunate natural disaster to ever occur on this small island in the Caribbean Sea. Because of this, it has become all the more important for me to pursue and succeed my goals as an architect in order to come back and help the community that raised me. Although I cannot help Puerto Rico with everything that was destroyed or negatively affected with the passing of this hurricane, I can try my best to aid in the only way I know how, which is through architecture, in order to give new vitality and vigor to this community and built environment.

Since my family lives in Puerto Rico, they suffered the impacts of Hurricane Maria. There were and still are enormous economic and labor force uncertainties that causes the lives of the people in Puerto Rico to be very unstable. Because of this is why I am in need of scholarship assistance. With this help, I can comfortably finish my education without any economic uncertainties and worries that might jeopardize my education. If I do receive the financial help, once I graduate and have gained my architecture license, I can start working on what really matters to me: the wellbeing and restoration of my homeland.

Because of these negative impacts on the island that have directly affected my family and the people of Puerto Rico, is the main reason why I have made it my number one goal in life to graduate, obtain my architecture license and devote all of my power and energy to the revitalization of the Puerto Rican community and maybe later on different communities across the world via architecture, but in order to do this, I need to find the economical aid I need to continue to pursue my dream.

12th July 2018

Kxxx Cxxxxxx

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

This reads as a scholarship statement from a current FIU architecture student, and its purpose of rebuilding Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria is sincere and clear. However, it relies on aspiration and general claims about architecture's social role, offering almost no evidence of coursework, design work, or what you have learned so far. Repetition and wordiness weaken an otherwise compelling motivation.

Subject motivation

in order to come back and help the community that raised me

Your motivation is genuine and specific: restoring Puerto Rico gives the statement a clear purpose. The opening line about fascination 'ever since I can remember' is generic, though; the hurricane-driven commitment is far stronger and could lead the statement instead.

Academic preparation

pursuing a degree in the Architecture Accelerated Masters program

You name your program but say nothing about what you have studied, designed, or learned in it. A reader funding your education would want to see a studio project, a course, or a skill that shows you are progressing toward the community work you describe.

Evidence and reflection

Architects have a social responsibility that goes back to the belief

This paragraph states beliefs about architecture's social role without grounding them in an example. Reflection on a specific damaged building, a resilient design approach, or something you observed would turn conviction into demonstrated understanding of how architecture aids recovery.

Relevant experience

Since my family lives in Puerto Rico, they suffered the impacts

Your family's experience explains the financial need clearly. Yet there is no personal experience of the built environment itself, such as what you saw or how buildings failed. Even one observed detail would link hardship to architectural insight.

Credibility and voice

one of the best and insightful universities and programs of the United States

Praise of the university and phrases like 'all of my power and energy' feel inflated rather than personal. Your voice is most credible when plain and direct, as when you admit you cannot fix everything but can contribute through architecture.

Structure and format

is the main reason why I have made it my number one goal

The final paragraph repeats the previous two almost entirely, and several sentences run long with grammatical slips ('Because of this is why'). Trimming the repetition would free space for evidence of your studies and make the funding request land more cleanly.

What you’ve done well

A clear, personal purpose, revitalising Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria, gives the statement direction and urgency.
You explain your financial need honestly and tie it directly to your long-term professional goals.

How this draft could improve

Add one or two concrete examples from your architecture studies, such as a project or course, that show preparation for community or resilient design.
Cut the repeated closing paragraph and the general claims about architects' responsibility, replacing them with a specific observation of the hurricane's effect on buildings.
Proofread for grammar and wordiness, for example 'Puerto Rico’ infrastructure', 'succeed my goals' and 'Because of this is why'.

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