- Reading time: 3 minutes
- Price: Free download
- Published: 4th November 2021
- Word count: 652 words
- File format: Text
In an article on the importance of engineering in the modern world, one particular sentence stood out to me: “Engineers don’t sit back and watch – they make things happen”. It is this motto that inspires me to pursue a career in mechanical engineering. As a prospective engineer, I hope to be able to come up with innovative and modern ideas to meet the growing needs of our society today.
My study of Physics and Further Mathematics has given me the foundation to explore the roots of engineering. I particularly enjoy the Mechanics aspect of these subjects which requires me to think innovatively and apply my knowledge to real and practical applications. Intrigued by concepts such as circular motion, differential equations and fluid mechanics, I was motivated to attend extension classes for both Mathematics and Physics, where I had the opportunity to explore Reynolds numbers and predicting flow patterns, and measure theory. The fundamental skills that I am learning will be useful across various disciplines and careers and I am excited by the prospect of applying what I have learnt in the classroom, to real-world situations. Another valuable extension opportunity was a school trip to CERN in Geneva, where I saw cutting-edge physics and engineering research taking place on a huge scale.
Keen for an insight into what a career in mechanical engineering would entail, I arranged a week’s work experience with Transport for London. On a visit to the abandoned Jubilee Line in Charing Cross, where I saw the infrastructure used in the station, I was fascinated by the complexities of the systems that were in place to assist in signalling and ensuring the safety of the passengers and drivers. In a subsequent week at Arup, I witnessed how engineers applied fundamental scientific principles to their designs, and I was struck by how different disciplines of engineering cohered to produce a final product. Working with engineers on a current project, I enjoyed being tasked with calculating the heat loads of several different rooms in a new building. This work experience confirmed my ambition to pursue a career in mechanical engineering.
During the summer of 2017, on a charity expedition to Uganda, I led a team of students in teaching Physics to large classes in the local school. Simplifying theories, clear communication, and enthusiasm were key skills needed to convey potentially complex physics. One creative highlight was using the water rocket experiment to explain the concept of pressure. The children thoroughly enjoyed this interactive lesson and took turns trying the rocket that I had built using simple tools. I took the initiative to fundraise for the trip by helping organise a sponsored cycle and bake sales as well as refereeing five-a-side matches, a role I continue to enjoy every weekend.
My teamwork, communication and leadership skills have been further developed through the Duke of Edinburgh award programme, and I have learned to manage my time well by balancing my work with other enriching activities. I am currently completing my Grade 8 piano qualification, and I also enjoy composing my own music using complex software. I have taken part in an entrepreneurial event for 11-19-year-olds in which our team of 5 students created an app aimed at helping GCSE students revise more effectively. We came 2nd out of 15 teams and showcased our product at the Growth Hacking World Forum. I also represent my school’s 2nd XI in football which allows me to balance my work and leisure time effectively.
I make sure to keep up to date with this continually advancing field by subscribing to magazines such as New Scientist and The Engineer. Recently, for example, I have been fascinated by Hyundai’s development of wearable robotic exoskeletons. I have always been intrigued by the unappreciated mechanisms behind daily objects, and I believe that this natural curiosity, combined with my interests in the sciences, will allow me to excel in my chosen career.
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Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve
This is a competent, well-organised statement with genuinely useful evidence, especially the Arup heat-load task and the water rocket lesson. Its main weakness is that you often report experiences rather than reflecting on them. Motivation rests on a borrowed quotation, and several activities are listed with generic skill claims rather than engineering insight.
Subject motivation
It is this motto that inspires me to pursue a career in mechanical engineering.
Grounding your motivation in a quoted motto makes it feel borrowed rather than personal. Your closing line about "unappreciated mechanisms behind daily objects" hints at a more authentic origin. Developing that curiosity with a concrete example early on would explain why mechanical engineering specifically, rather than engineering in general, appeals to you.
Academic preparation
explore Reynolds numbers and predicting flow patterns, and measure theory
Extension classes beyond the syllabus show initiative, and the Reynolds numbers detail is relevant. However, you name topics without explaining anything you understood or found surprising. Measure theory sits oddly beside engineering content and invites questions. One sentence on what a topic revealed would demonstrate real engagement.
Evidence and reflection
I enjoyed being tasked with calculating the heat loads of several different rooms
This is your strongest concrete evidence, but the reflection stops at enjoyment. Explaining which principles you applied, what assumptions mattered or what the calculation showed about design trade-offs would turn a task into insight. The CERN trip and the exoskeleton article similarly need a sentence of what you actually learned.
Relevant experience
I was struck by how different disciplines of engineering cohered to produce a final product
Arranging two placements, at Transport for London and Arup, shows purposeful exploration of the profession. The observation about disciplines cohering is a promising reflection, but it is left general. Naming one specific interface you saw, such as mechanical and structural considerations, would make the point credible and distinctive.
Credibility and voice
I have learned to manage my time well by balancing my work
Claims like this, and the repeated phrase about balancing work and leisure, read as generic skill statements. By contrast, building the water rocket and adapting physics for large classes are vivid and believable. Your voice is strongest when you describe what you did and weakest when you simply assert qualities.
Structure and format
I also represent my school's 2nd XI in football which allows me
The progression from academics to work experience, outreach and wider interests is logical. The extracurricular paragraph becomes a list, though, and the football and balance point repeats earlier material. The conclusion leans on "excel in my chosen career" rather than summarising a clear, evidenced reason for studying the course.
What you’ve done well
- The Arup heat-load calculation is concrete, discipline-relevant evidence of hands-on engineering work.
- The Uganda water rocket lesson shows you can build something simple and use it to explain pressure clearly.
How this draft could improve
- Replace the opening quotation with a specific moment of your own curiosity about how a mechanism works, and link it to mechanical engineering.
- After each key experience, add one sentence on what you learned technically, for example the assumptions behind the heat-load calculation.
- Trim the activity list and generic skill claims, keeping only items you can connect to engineering thinking, so there is more room for reflection.
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