- Reading time: 2 minutes
- Price: Free download
- Published: 13th September 2019
- Word count: 528 words
- File format: Text
Over the past few years, I have been highly interested in the area of computing; particularly in Software Engineering and Computer Systems. This interest has stemmed from my previous experiences during my studies in school and college, as I quickly became intrigued by the impact of computing and technology on the modern world.
Studying Computing has expanded my outlook on the impact that Information Technology has on a modern, globalised society; in particular the development of vehicular systems and hospitality, for example life support systems and disease research. I have also become increasingly aware of the ethical issues surrounding the use of IT systems, such as environmental concerns, the impact of social media and security of personal data.
I first became interested in Software Engineering as a child, and remember being fascinated by the technical aspect of IT systems such as games consoles, computers and handheld devices. I became very attentive to the way in which IT systems were set up, and would practice by assisting my family members with any relevant issues.
I have gained significant knowledge through studying Business, as it has provided insight into how a business may make use of computing systems, and how valuable research conducted into software engineering is for the success and profitability of a company. This is strongly linked with business management and operations, which I feel highlights the importance of Software Engineering in the development of a business, and therefore the application of this to real life industries. The course has revolved around creating a marketing campaign, which required me to conduct and analyse a range of research. This ultimately allowed me to identify what makes a successful and profitable marketing campaign, and involved me using a range of statistical and analytical skills, which are transferrable to the systematic aspect of Software Engineering.
Moreover, studying Media Production has allowed me to undertake creative tasks; therefore, developing the knowledge and understanding of different computer systems that are used within Media. This course has been extremely independent, thus teaching me to take full responsibility for my work which is important when preparing to study at university level, as well as considering postgraduate options.
I have had experience in assisting my mother in the day to day running of her small childminding business. I regularly volunteer to assist with setting up databases, which has helped cultivate my skills and knowledge of working in that particular environment. I felt I was very motivated by the position I had, which will help me in my university lifestyle as it involved communication, assessing and resolving situations.
I am currently looking into career paths within the region of IT Engineering/Technician, as I am interested in the processes of coding and designing Information Technology systems.
I have researched the requirements that these job roles specify, and have come across expectations like communicative skills as well as leadership abilities, which I feel will be developed during university. By studying Software Engineering at degree level, I am hoping to better my skills in the areas of Python and SQL, consequently improving my understanding of coding and databases and therefore introducing me to a variety of potential career opportunities.
Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve
Your statement shows a sincere, long-standing interest in computing and draws on genuinely useful material, especially the databases for your mother's business. However, much of it stays at the level of general claims about technology's impact. The links from Business and Media to software engineering feel stretched, and you rarely describe what you actually built, coded or learned.
Subject motivation
I quickly became intrigued by the impact of computing and technology on the modern world
This is the core of your motivation, but it is broad enough to describe almost any applicant. Your childhood interest in consoles and fixing family devices is more personal. Explaining what specifically drew you to software engineering, rather than computing generally, would make your motivation more convincing.
Academic preparation
I am hoping to better my skills in the areas of Python and SQL
This is the only mention of programming languages, and it comes at the very end. You do not say what you have already done in Python or SQL, or what your Computing studies covered. Naming topics, a program you wrote or a problem you solved would show readiness much more clearly.
Evidence and reflection
which are transferrable to the systematic aspect of Software Engineering
Here you assert transferable skills without showing how they connect. The marketing campaign research is real evidence, but the reflection jumps straight to a generic link. Asking what analysing data taught you about thinking systematically, with one concrete example, would turn this claim into genuine reflection.
Relevant experience
I regularly volunteer to assist with setting up databases
This is your strongest and most relevant evidence, and an ordinary family business is excellent material. It is underused, though. You do not explain what the databases stored, how you designed them, what went wrong or what you learned about structuring data. Developing this would anchor the whole statement.
Credibility and voice
I felt I was very motivated by the position I had
Phrases like this and "highly interested" tell the reader about your feelings instead of showing them. Some claims also feel inflated or inaccurate. For example, "hospitality" seems to mean healthcare, and research into software engineering is linked to business profitability. Plainer, precise wording would make your voice more trustworthy.
Structure and format
I first became interested in Software Engineering as a child
This origin story appears in your third paragraph, after two paragraphs of general observation, which makes the opening feel generic. Repeated connectives like "therefore" and "thus" create forced links. Reordering the statement and cutting the broad second paragraph would free space for concrete computing evidence.
What you’ve done well
- You include a genuine, practical computing task: setting up databases for your mother's childminding business.
- Your awareness of ethical issues such as data security and environmental impact shows you think beyond technical skills.
- Your childhood habit of troubleshooting family devices gives a personal, believable origin for your interest.
How this draft could improve
- Expand the database work into a short account of what you designed, the problems you met and what you learned.
- Replace general statements about technology's impact with specific computing topics, code or projects you have actually engaged with.
- Cut or tighten the Business and Media links so that each one makes a single, clearly explained connection to software engineering.
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