Law personal statement (2)

Reading time: 2 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 13th September 2019
Word count: 581 words
File format: Text

Law is not only a subject that I intend to study, but instead something which I see just like a center piece of my individuality. For me Law in not simply professional, unlike different subjects, law is applicable to every person in the public around the world, however just a chosen few have a genuine enthusiasm to ponder it inside and out and to construct their future with respect to it. This is the reason as to why I am applying for a law degree.

Currently, studying Level 3 BTEC Business and Law extended diploma has allowed me to not only further my knowledge based around business but also to expand my knowledge of the English legal system, with modules including ‘The English Legal System’ and ‘Employment Law’ I have had the opportunity to build on my confidence and expand on my professional skills. During my first year at college I voluntarily attended lessons and lectures of the Access course to Criminology, this not only allowed me to interact with a variety of people from many different cultures and backgrounds but also interact with much older students, through this course I was able to build my understanding of criminology and the theories behind it.

Progressing onto college before university has allowed my confidence to grow, given me more independence and studying in a more mature environment I feel has been good preparation.

The wide range of applications of law appeals to me on the grounds that not exclusively can my future information encourage others for the most part and be valuable to me, it is a heading towards a future that I would savor, as a law degree opens up a tremendous scope of choices where I would have the capacity to practice into criminal law joined with human rights.

In addition to academic work, I enjoy dancing, I have been training since the age of 2, this has taught me the importance of teamwork and the need for reliability. Having taken part in many different events during the years, including traveling around the world, performing on large stages and working with a vast variety of people, this has allowed me to grow my confidence and be able to undertake different approaches when communicating with people to make both parties feel comfortable. I am also very passionate about charity, due to my passion for dance I was able to organize fundraising shows for charities such as Acorns, This experience has taught me about dedication and focus..

At my secondary school I had the benefit of getting to be Head girl. As a feature of this part I gave numerous discourses to my counterparts from various schools, and also parents and experts. I likewise led the Student Council where I had a functioning contribution to my school’s welfare, designated workloads and took endeavors with instructors speaking to the school as a minister.

I have worked since the age of 16 at the local H&M, starting as an 8-hour sales advisor to progressing into visual management, taking care of a number of domestic duties and dealing with the public. This has increased my confidence and communication skills and has taught me how to work with many different people and stay calm under pressure. Earning my own income has given me some independence which is good preparation for university and life thereafter.

I believe I have the essential skills and the unrelenting motivation to succeed in studying a challenging, yet stimulating law course at university.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

You have genuine material here: a BTEC with legal modules, voluntary Criminology attendance, long dance commitment, leadership and steady retail work. The draft undersells it. Motivation stays abstract, legal learning is named rather than explored, and several passages read awkwardly, possibly from paraphrasing tools, which obscures your voice. Deeper reflection on law itself would strengthen it most.

Subject motivation

law is applicable to every person in the public around the world

This general claim could apply to any applicant. You later mention criminal law and human rights, which is promising, but never say what sparked that interest or what question about law you want answered. One concrete moment, case or issue would make your motivation personal and convincing.

Academic preparation

modules including ‘The English Legal System’ and ‘Employment Law’

Relevant modules are real preparation, but you only list them and say they built confidence. Explain one idea you learned, such as how precedent works or a specific employment rights issue, and what it made you think. That would show legal understanding rather than course enrolment.

Evidence and reflection

This experience has taught me about dedication and focus..

Most reflections end in broad skill labels: confidence, teamwork, communication. These are generic. Organising charity shows involved planning, persuasion and responsibility; describe one decision or problem and what it taught you that a law student would use, such as weighing competing needs or presenting a case.

Relevant experience

I voluntarily attended lessons and lectures of the Access course to Criminology

Choosing extra study voluntarily is strong evidence of initiative, and it links well to your criminal law interest. Currently you mention only meeting different people. Say which criminological theory or topic engaged you and how it shaped your view of crime, justice or the legal system.

Credibility and voice

took endeavors with instructors speaking to the school as a minister

Phrasing like this, along with 'discourses', 'heading towards a future that I would savor' and 'not exclusively', reads unnatural and makes the meaning unclear. Your H&M paragraph sounds far more like you. Write in that plain, direct style throughout so readers trust your account.

Structure and format

Progressing onto college before university has allowed my confidence to grow

This one-sentence paragraph repeats points made elsewhere, and confidence recurs in nearly every section. The order drifts between academic and personal material. Grouping the law-related evidence together, cutting repetition, and ending with a specific rather than general conclusion would improve coherence.

What you’ve done well

Your voluntary attendance at Criminology Access lectures shows initiative beyond your required studies.
Your progression at H&M from sales advisor to visual management is concrete, credible evidence of reliability and responsibility.

How this draft could improve

Replace the abstract opening with a specific experience or legal question that explains why law, and criminal law with human rights, interests you.
For each experience, cut generic skill labels and explain one concrete thing you did, what you learned, and how it relates to studying law.
Rewrite convoluted sentences in plain English, and proofread errors such as 'Law in not', 'center piece' and the double full stop.

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