Politics personal statement (1)

Reading time: 2 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 23rd December 2019
Word count: 487 words
File format: Text

For me politics is like a heated chess game, every move is calculated and concise, and one’s strategy ever changing. I love the back and forth of modern politics, and admire charismatic politicians and leaders, who unite millions of people under their ideals in order to create meaningful change.

Ever since the 2016 American presidential campaign, my life goal has been to pursue a career in politics. During the course of the presidential election, I watched every debate, assessed the rhetoric of every candidate, and strived to understand the social, economic and political ramifications of each event and controversy.

After the 2016 election, I knew that I wanted to continue pursuing politics, and subsequently focused my attention on broadening my knowledge of the wider political world. I became captivated with the both national and international political culture, relations and elections, however as I continued to pursue my passion, I became increasingly fascinated by the role macro/micro economics plays within a country, and how it relates to politics, influencing everything from policy to reserve bank decisions and private equity markets.

It is this relationship between the theoretical applications of economics and modern politics, that not only excites me, but has become the cornerstone of an unwavering pursuit of knowledge in both subjects, that has not only constantly sustained my interest, but encouraged me to pursue them at a tertiary level.

It is this unwavering pursuit of knowledge, that has not only led me to undertake three separate University entrance qualifications, but to pursue politics through a variety of extracurricular activities in both Auckland and Wanaka. Activities such as Model United Nations and Leadership and Political Summits, helped enhance my political aptitude and leadership ability, whilst giving me invaluable experience within the political field. I also honed my public speaking ability, winning the Mount Aspiring College debate competition, and competing in the Auckland senior debating league, in which I was constantly awarded ‘best speaker in the debate’.

Outside of traditional extracurricular activities, I utilised my personal passion for computer programming, to design small stock and microeconomic forecasts, by creating a computer program that took public data and analysed it, looking for previous patterns to build predictive models. By predicting long term trends in both the NASDAQ and smaller markets such as the the American home improvement industry, I not only built upon my passion for economics but utilised my geography and research skills to isolate specific areas that I thought would see new or prolonged sector development. By analysing macroeconomic data, geographical data and political trends, I used my predictive models to practice investing through day trading programs, allowing me to gain meaningful financial and economic experience.

The University of Edinburgh’s diverse and unique learning environment, would not only provide me with an unparalleled experience, it would make available the necessary knowledge and resources to continue to pursue my passion in Politics and Economics, and create meaningful change.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

Your statement shows genuine enthusiasm for politics and economics, and the self-built forecasting program is distinctive evidence. However, much of the draft asserts passion rather than demonstrating thinking: the 2016 election section lists activity without insight, extracurriculars are named but not reflected on, and repetitive phrasing weakens the voice. The Edinburgh conclusion is generic and adds little specific fit.

Subject motivation

Ever since the 2016 American presidential campaign, my life goal has been

You give a clear starting point, but the election is described through what you watched rather than what struck you. Naming one debate moment, rhetorical tactic or controversy and explaining why it changed your thinking would make the motivation feel personal rather than declared.

Academic preparation

led me to undertake three separate University entrance qualifications

This is potentially significant, but you never name the qualifications, subjects or what you studied in them. Readers cannot judge preparation for Politics and Economics without knowing which courses, topics or reading developed your understanding, so this claim currently functions as a statistic rather than evidence.

Evidence and reflection

looking for previous patterns to build predictive models

The programming project is your strongest material because it is concrete and self-initiated. Yet you do not say what the models found, where they failed, or what this taught you about economic forecasting or its limits. One honest reflection, perhaps on prediction errors, would show real analytical maturity.

Relevant experience

Activities such as Model United Nations and Leadership and Political Summits

Debating success and Model United Nations are relevant, but described with stock phrases like 'enhance my political aptitude'. Which country or issue did you represent at MUN, and what did negotiating teach you? Specific motions or arguments from debating would connect these activities to political thinking.

Credibility and voice

in which I was constantly awarded ‘best speaker in the debate’

'Constantly' and phrases like 'invaluable experience' and 'unparalleled experience' sound inflated and invite doubt. Similarly, the opening chess metaphor feels familiar. More measured language, such as how often you won awards, would make your genuine achievements more convincing and let your own voice emerge.

Structure and format

It is this unwavering pursuit of knowledge, that has not only

Consecutive paragraphs repeat 'unwavering pursuit of knowledge' and 'not only', which feels padded. The middle paragraphs about broadening interest restate enthusiasm without new content. Tightening these would free space for reflection, and the ending needs a concrete reason for Edinburgh rather than generic praise.

What you’ve done well

The self-designed program analysing public data to forecast market trends is original, concrete evidence linking programming, economics and research skills.
You articulate a coherent intellectual link between economics and politics, which suits a joint Politics and Economics course.

How this draft could improve

Replace general claims of passion with one or two specific examples, such as a particular policy, debate argument or model result, and explain what you learned from each.
Cut repeated phrases ('unwavering pursuit', 'not only... but') and inflated words like 'constantly' and 'unparalleled' to create room and improve credibility.
Name your qualifications and relevant subjects, and give a specific reason why Edinburgh's course structure or approach suits your interests.

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