Law personal statement (4)

Reading time: 4 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 22nd September 2019
Word count: 972 words
File format: Text

I do not know if others do this, but when something good happens to me, or in this case, when I am about to take a major leap on something that could possibly commence the next chapter of my life, I tend to look back and reflect on what brought me here. Illustrating a lifetime of blessings, obstacles, and personal experiences within a two-to-three-page personal statement is a strenuous process, but I will do the best I can in showing you how these things inaugurated my decision to apply for law school.

Rather than the what that brought me here, I would like you to first meet the most important factor of my life, the who. My mother, JoAnn Cruz, is the greatest blessing that I have ever received, and I can truly say that God gave me an angel-on-earth as a mother. Everything good that I have inside of me, I have from her. Being raised in Amarillo, Texas, by a single parent and cervical cancer survivor (along with a close run-in with breast cancer), the odds were completely stacked against us. Even when things went completely south, it was a paramount goal of hers to show me that we were never alone. She once told me something that let me realize what life is really about, “We will always have our faith, we will always have our family, and we will always have the ability to follow our dreams… the three F’s.” I do not think she knows what she did, but she is the best thing that ever happened to me and my main catalyst and influence for applying to law school. Not once did she think about herself, and it is because of her altruistic and philanthropic nature that I want to attend St. Mary’s University School of Law. Her commitment and confidence to helping others gave me hope, and I believe it is my responsibility to follow this trajectory and advocate for the common good using law as my platform to help and inspire. If I am going to write about the lighter parts of my life, then it is only fair to write about how the darker elements made me a stronger person.

In a traditional Hispanic family, the male figure, the father, takes on the role as the provider. For me, it was different. I did not grow up in the common patriarchal household, rather, I was raised in a matriarchal home in which my mother took on every role that was imperative to helping me grow. From a young age, I knew it was my responsibility to become the man of the house and be able to provide not only for myself, but for both of us when the time came. Simply put, I needed to be strong for her, just as she was strong for me. Ever since then, I was on a mission, and because I had to be strong not just for myself, but for others as well, I was able to gain the qualities of dedication, resilience, and maturity. I tend to overthink many things, but I learned to look realistically at the conundrums of life, without getting particularly lost in them. Things could have been a lot worse and I thank God every day for that.
Growing up in a Hispanic family single-parent household definitely had its ups and downs, but I try to stay clear of counting the latter as “downs” simply because those experiences made me the person I am today. One thing it taught me, was how to let go. Officially changing my last name from Perez to my mother’s maiden name Cruz was a difficult process, but it allowed me to let go of some of my past, focus on the present, and prepare for the future (hopefully in law at St. Mary’s! GO RATTLERS!). Overcoming the stereotypical expectations of low educational and low social achievement empowered me, allowed me to find my intrinsic identity, and discover what I truly believe in. Those same values converge with the ideals that I have learned from attending meetings since I was a little kid for the League of United Latin American Citizens (L.U.L.A.C). I have been blessed to receive four LULAC National Scholarships, and part of my interest in taking part in the process of law definitely stems from the values that I have learned from LULAC.

Fueled by faith and passion and in accordance with my attendance at St. Mary’s University, I have been able to experience work and education not just as occupations, but as part of a bigger process in finding who I am and the reason God put me on Earth. My experience attending St. Mary’s University brought me closer to my Catholic faith and supplied me with the tools of reason to lead and excel in the academic and professional environment of law school. As of right now, during the halfway point of my senior year, my focus is centered on policy analysis and writing policy briefs. This enables me to further research, write, and advocate for the beliefs that resonate with my moral compass and the values I have obtained from my undergraduate experience at St. Mary’s University. As stated earlier, my motivation to go to law school is my mother, what she went through, and what she did for me. I believe that the tools I would acquire working for a law degree would supply me with the methodological knowledge to initiate more government policies that would improve the well-being of single parent families. The decision to apply for law school did not hit me like lightning… it is rooted in my personal experiences of faith and family and it is the logical next step in following my dreams.

11.02.2019

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

This law school statement has a sincere, consistent motive: your mother's example and a wish to improve conditions for single-parent families. Its weakness is proportion. Family narrative dominates, while legal preparation, policy work and LULAC involvement stay largely asserted. Trimming the throat-clearing opening and abstract virtue claims would make room for concrete evidence of analytical readiness for law.

Subject motivation

improve the well-being of single parent families

Your motive is genuine and linked to lived experience, which gives the statement coherence. However, the move from your mother's altruism to law specifically is asserted rather than explained. Why law, rather than social work or policy, is the right tool is never examined, so the motivation feels heartfelt but underargued.

Academic preparation

my focus is centered on policy analysis and writing policy briefs

This is your most relevant academic evidence, but it appears late and stays generic. Naming a brief's topic, the method you used, or a difficulty you resolved would demonstrate legal reasoning. Your major, coursework and research skills go unmentioned, leaving preparation for law school largely implied.

Evidence and reflection

I was able to gain the qualities of dedication, resilience, and maturity

This sentence lists virtues rather than showing them. The surrounding narrative supplies context but no specific moment where these qualities changed your actions. The name change is a stronger example of letting go, yet its connection to law remains a loose emotional link rather than reflection.

Relevant experience

attending meetings since I was a little kid for the League of United Latin American Citizens

Long-term LULAC involvement is potentially excellent evidence of civic engagement, but you only state attendance and scholarships. Describing an issue discussed, an advocacy effort, or a role you took on would show which values you absorbed and how they relate to legal advocacy.

Credibility and voice

hopefully in law at St. Mary’s! GO RATTLERS!

Your voice is warm and personal, which helps. This aside, however, undercuts the professional register an admissions reader expects. Inflated diction such as 'inaugurated', 'conundrums' and 'altruistic and philanthropic' also weakens credibility. Plainer wording would let your sincerity carry the statement.

Structure and format

I do not know if others do this

The opening and its commentary on writing a statement spend valuable space before any substance appears. Paragraphs follow a logical arc from family to identity to university to goals. Still, motivation is restated ('As stated earlier'), and the closing slogan repeats your mother's 'three F's' rather than adding a new point.

What you’ve done well

You thread a consistent thread through the whole statement: your mother's example, the 'three F's' and a closing goal of helping single-parent families.
You have concrete, distinctive details available, including your name change, four LULAC National Scholarships and current policy-brief work, that set you apart from generic applicants.

How this draft could improve

Cut the opening meta-commentary and the 'GO RATTLERS' aside, then use the space to describe one policy brief in detail: its question, your analysis and what it taught you about how law shapes outcomes.
Replace lists of qualities such as dedication, resilience and maturity with one specific episode from home or LULAC that shows these traits in action and connects explicitly to legal advocacy.

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