Law degree personal statement example (9)

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Published: 10th July 2023
Word count: 559 words
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Systems of law in democracies are the cornerstones of civil society. They reflect essential values to which communities agree to adhere and we collectively aspire to write them and apply them in a just manner. For these reasons, I have always felt an impassioned sense of connection and admiration for the field of law. From books, films, to even my subject choices I find myself increasingly drawn to law and have developed a strong desire to make it my career. Growing up in an Asian household, living in Germany, and studying at an international school, has exposed me to a diverse outlook on today’s societal standards. My expertise in extrapolating key arguments, in addition to assertively defend them with compassion, is an essential trait that I think should be the foundation to adequate communication skills when thinking of pursuing any legal career.

Thus, with the intention to further develop my analytical and critical thinking skills, I have chosen to study English and History at Higher level for my IB diploma. The combination of History and English is crucial, as I can develop my writing aptitude and learn about significant movements and the failure of certain regulations, consequently gaining a slight understanding of several legal concepts. Given my background and recent turmoil in my own country, I have decided to evaluate a similar conflict by myself and explore aspects in law extensively, by writing my Extended Essay on the Tiananmen Protests and the enforcement of the martial law.

To officially gain an insight into legal profession, I have applied and spent two internships at two notably different law firms. At the first one, a much smaller and local one, I developed a close relationship with my lawyer. Not only, did I get to listen to my lawyer’s clients and observe their behaviour and interaction towards the client during meetings, but I was also taught about the German legal system and was given the opportunity to compose legal documents addressing judges for a few cases. At the second one, at the renowned law firm Taylor Wessing, I spent three weeks working at a more niche area of practice, bankruptcy law. During my time at Taylor Wessing, I had the chance to accompany my lawyer at a trial at the District Court Duesseldorf and was asked to brief the case after the trial. Moreover, upon talking to lawyers, I was told to present the idea of the declaration of intent, which constitutes an important element in any legal system.

To keep me up updated with the latest news, my browser’s homepage is set on the law section of The Guardian website. Furthermore, in order to understand some of the terminology used in these news articles, I have been reading books such “About Law” by Tony Honoré and “What about Law”, hence obtaining basic legal jargon.

I am a competitive piano player, and have been taking lessons for ten years. Through piano, I have acquired perseverance, which is vital as studying law is a very long and strenuous process. In year eleven, I became a delegate of the Model United Nations, and have exercised public speaking skills as well as research and teamwork skills.

All in all, I realize I still have much to discover and studying an undergraduate course in law would be the perfect opportunity.

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Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

Your statement has genuinely useful evidence, especially two contrasting internships and an Extended Essay on martial law, but it mostly reports activities rather than reflecting on them. The opening relies on broad claims about law and passion, and several sentences overstate expertise. Deeper analysis of what you learned, plus tighter, more accurate phrasing, would make your motivation far more convincing.

Subject motivation

I have always felt an impassioned sense of connection and admiration for the field of law

This asserts enthusiasm rather than showing its origin. Your opening idea about law reflecting shared values is promising, but you never connect it to a specific question, case or moment that sparked your interest. The Tiananmen essay or a courtroom observation could anchor your motivation more personally.

Academic preparation

writing my Extended Essay on the Tiananmen Protests and the enforcement of the martial law

This is strong, relevant preparation, but you only name the topic. Explain your research question, the sources or legal ideas you examined, and what conclusion surprised you. The claim that History and English give a slight understanding of legal concepts would be stronger with one concrete example.

Evidence and reflection

I was told to present the idea of the declaration of intent

You mention an interesting legal concept but do not explain what you discovered when presenting it or why it matters across legal systems. Throughout, actions are listed with little reflection on what they changed in your thinking about law.

Relevant experience

accompany my lawyer at a trial at the District Court Duesseldorf

Two contrasting placements are excellent material, and you rightly flag their difference. Yet you never compare small local practice with insolvency work at a large firm, or say what briefing the case taught you. That comparison is where your insight could emerge.

Credibility and voice

My expertise in extrapolating key arguments

Claiming expertise at this stage undermines credibility; evidence such as Model United Nations debate would show the skill better. Similarly, composing documents addressing judges may overstate an intern's role unless you clarify that you drafted under supervision. The piano-to-perseverance link feels forced and generic.

Structure and format

All in all, I realize I still have much to discover

The order is logical, but the one-sentence conclusion is abrupt and adds nothing new. Grammatical slips such as assertively defend, Not only, did I and keep me up updated distract from otherwise clear sections. The reading paragraph also gives an incomplete book title.

What you’ve done well

Two internships at different kinds of firm, including attending a trial and briefing it afterwards, provide concrete, credible exposure to legal practice.
The Extended Essay on Tiananmen and martial law shows independent engagement with law, power and history linked to your own background.

How this draft could improve

For each internship and the Extended Essay, add one or two sentences on a specific insight, such as how insolvency proceedings or martial law challenged your view of justice.
Replace broad claims like expertise and impassioned connection with modest, evidenced statements, and proofread for grammar and incomplete titles.
Write a conclusion that draws together your multicultural perspective and legal interests rather than restating that you have more to learn.

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