Free personal statement for a Masters Degree in Technology & Business

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Published: 4th July 2019
Word count: 781 words
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Education is a companion which no misfortune can depress, no crime can destroy, no enemy can alienate, no despotism can enslave’. This line encapsulates the fervor within me to face challenges and has shaped me as a self-motivated person. My application to Masters of Science in Management Information Systems program is motivated by the ambition to explore the implementation of managerial principle in the field of engineering.

The importance given to Management in Engineering Curriculum provided me with elementary management orientation. I took electives like Process Modeling, Simulation & Optimization and Engineering Economics & Marketing Management which further augmented the thirst in me to delve into this field. In a class of 140 students, I secured fourth rank in my undergraduate degree. My mentors and teachers credited it to my dedication and perseverance.

I have honed organizational skills by organizing and participating in National level symposiums, seminars and paper presentations during college. My thesis at senior level of undergraduate studies catered to problems faced by the petroleum industry. I designed a new fluid formulation which can withstand adverse conditions of pressure and temperature in the deep drilling environment and increase the success rate of Drilling Fluid performance. It was undertaken by the college for further research.

My search for corporate business knowledge led me to Cognizant Technology Solutions. In 27 months it has bestowed me with impeccable corporate culture and has been a great learning experience. Being a part of a Production Management project since its genesis, I developed a thorough understanding of the Business Model. My responsibilities include providing end to end service management across multiple technologies and disciplines including applications and infrastructure services to meet a set of business service level agreements. Apart from providing technical consultancy, I took up up the responsibility for driving the processes and negotiations between business clients, vendors and Internal Managers. These experiences have nurtured the passion for management studies. My current position has given me experience working with multiple clients, motivating employees, and managing campaigns. I wish to gain international exposure in this field which can be attained by acquiring a Master’s degree.

I have always been a people’s person, making constant efforts to know and learn from them. This understanding of people has helped me encompass, help and assimilate members of my team at work. I am a staunch team player and have learnt to multi-task prioritizing activities unequivocally, with a bias for action and a genuine interest in personal and professional development. I would be excited to share my past strengths and experiences among students and contribute positively towards case studies, group discussions and market/business analysis.

My goal is to evolve skills to effectively channelize the potentiality of emanating technologies into the existing management system. A Master’s degree in Technology & Business will help me gain exposure and understand business activities like designing and implementation of business information systems in innovative ways to increase the effectiveness and efficiency of business. My ultimate goal is to learn the management principles and apply all this knowledge, experience and expertise in starting my own venture.

Information systems have made it easier to fraternize, associate and collude and have brought the world on a single platform to achieve common goals. My Engineering background and corporate culture knowledge have given me a very broad outlook, with varying degrees of knowledge in a range of topics. I strongly believe that all these qualities will influence my work .A master’s degree from USF will provide me with in depth understanding of underlying concepts in managerial decision making and developing expertise in core areas of Computer applications.

The University of South Florida provides an ideal climate, in terms of culture and broad experience for me to develop my cross-disciplinary interests. The curriculum especially with regard to electives like Information Security and Risk Management & Distributed Information systems are germane to my field of interest, which will enhance my domain knowledge and assist me in reaching my goal.

I wish to attain new skills in order to adapt to the fast changing world which will motivate and instil in me a higher self-esteem. These skills can be acquired only through a comprehensive curriculum inclusive of an erudite faculty, which USF possesses. My pragmatic work experiences and the undergraduate study have given me an environment of boundless innovation. That, together with my ability to analyze and interpret unique problems, and pronounced logical thinking for the right solutions will enable me to leverage my pre-Master’s skills in Corporate Business and synergize them with the skills gained during Master’s. I sincerely hope that you find my application to be worthy and grant admission to your Master’s program.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

This postgraduate statement has genuinely useful material: a petroleum-engineering thesis, a rank in a 140-student cohort, and 27 months at Cognizant handling service management and negotiations. However, ornate vocabulary, generic trait claims and repeated goal statements obscure it. The link from drilling fluids and IT operations to Management Information Systems is asserted rather than explained, and course fit stays thin.

Subject motivation

explore the implementation of managerial principle in the field of engineering

Your stated motive is broad and shifts between management in engineering, technology and business, and starting a venture. The opening quotation is attributed to nobody and is not connected to information systems. A concrete moment from your work where information systems mattered would show why this discipline, rather than management generally, draws you.

Academic preparation

Process Modeling, Simulation & Optimization and Engineering Economics & Marketing Management

These electives and your fourth rank in a class of 140 are relevant, credible preparation. You list them without saying what you learned. One sentence on, for example, how optimisation or economics changed your view of business decisions would turn the course names into evidence of readiness for MIS study.

Evidence and reflection

These experiences have nurtured the passion for management studies.

This is where reflection should happen, but the sentence only asserts a result. You describe negotiating between clients, vendors and managers without a single example, problem, decision or lesson. One specific negotiation or service-level challenge, and what it taught you about systems and people, would carry far more weight.

Relevant experience

providing end to end service management across multiple technologies and disciplines

Your Cognizant role is your strongest asset because it sits close to information systems practice. It currently reads like a job description. Clarify your own scope, any scale or outcome, and how the work exposed gaps in your knowledge that the master's would fill. Claims about motivating employees and managing campaigns also need grounding.

Credibility and voice

I am a staunch team player and have learnt to multi-task

Self-descriptions such as people's person, bias for action and pronounced logical thinking are unsupported, and they weaken your voice. Word choices such as 'collude', 'fraternize' and 'impeccable corporate culture' misfire, and the course name varies between paragraphs. Plainer, accurate language would let your real experience sound authoritative.

Structure and format

My ultimate goal is to learn the management principles and apply

The order of the statement is logical, but goals recur in several paragraphs, and the final three paragraphs repeat praise of USF in general terms. The thesis appears inside an organisational-skills paragraph, where it does not belong. Combining the goal material and closing with a specific plan would tighten the statement.

What you’ve done well

The drilling-fluid thesis is concrete, technical work with a stated outcome: the college took it up for further research.
The 27 months at Cognizant, involving service-level agreements and cross-party negotiation, are directly relevant professional evidence.

How this draft could improve

Replace the trait lists with one or two specific workplace examples that show what you did and what you learned about information systems.
Explain the path from engineering and IT operations to MIS explicitly, and connect your named USF electives to a concrete career aim.
Cut inflated vocabulary and repeated goal statements, use one consistent programme name, and drop the unattributed opening quotation.

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