Free Commercial Graduate Personal Statement Example

Reading time: 3 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 13th July 2019
Word count: 852 words
File format: Text

With regards to the Programmed Commercial Graduate Program. I bring to the table not only the necessary skills and knowledge required for the role, but additional real world experience and aptitude that few graduates in my position have. Additionally, I believe the Graduate Program will be the ideal stepping stone to hone my skills through the guided mentorship available, in order to be a valuable asset to Programme’s Corporate Finance division. I am particularly interested in the long term value generated by Public Private Partnerships – bringing lasting change is indeed a fond prospect for many. Being able to integrate industry leading private companies with the public sector part makes this experience even more worthwhile, being part of one of the largest facility management service providers in Australia. Importantly, I am a well rounded team focused player, recognized for my leadership and resilience in tough times. If selected, I will employ these strategies to help achieve the best outcomes for Programmed both in and out of office.

Public Private Partnerships (PPP) are vital to the development of infrastructure in Australia as they allow governments and the private sector to work together and share resources on key projects. In the past three decades, PPPs have been pivotal to the rollout of significant infrastructure projects around the world, with governments in Australia, the UK and Singapore especially favouring the model. PPPs enjoy a good reputation for delivering projects on time and within budget. A study released by the University of Melbourne in 2008 found that PPPs experienced average construction cost over-runs of 4.3 per cent, compared with 18 per cent for the traditionally procured projects [1]. In contrast, the average construction phase delay for the PPPs was 1.4 per cent, compared with 25.9 per cent for the traditionally procured projects. Thus, through a combination of better infrastructure solutions and lower costs for government, PPPs can deliver superior value for money for government than alternative delivery models.

Most interestingly, in my perspective, is the innovation brought about as a result of PPP contracts. The Northern Gas Pipeline is an excellent example of this, by being focused on outcomes rather than set procedures. In 2017, the Northern Territory Government wanted to support the private sector development of a pipeline connecting its vast onshore gas reserves to the gas pipeline network servicing Eastern and Southern Australia. The competitive process between private sector firms, allowed bidders to propose the route, connection points, initial capacity, expansion capacity and the level of government support required. By specifying the problem to be solved, rather than a particular infrastructure solution, the government allowed bidders to develop innovative solutions which resulted in an outcome (in terms of the required level of government support) which few thought possible.

Programmed Facility Management presents an attractive avenue to enter the world of PPPs. Being involved in a number of public private partnerships in Australia and New Zealand over the past decade, Programmed has developed asset management and operational tools which give it the cutting edge in delivering PPP contracts. Furthermore, the guidance provided to graduates by mentors is unlikely to be found elsewhere, as many jobs in the realm of PPPs tend to seek experienced professionals who already have a foot in the industry. I look forward to learning the intricacies of strategic asset management and commercial management, as an extension of my university studies, from a specialised firm like Programmed that’s well versed in its industry.

In all my educational and professional life, if there is one thing I aspired to be, it’s an all rounder. I not only excelled academically, but continuously applied myself in co-curricular endeavors and sought out ways to give back to the community. I studied a variety of subjects in University, going beyond the scope of my degree, including electives in Advanced Mathematics, Accounting and Teaching. Concurrently, I had success in a number of case study competitions, showed initiative as a Financial Analyst intern and founded my own company.

I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to travel over the world, most notably to New York and San Francisco in May to conduct business with and learn from executives of leading fintech companies. Most recently, I was awarded ‘Fintech Student Leader of the Year’ at the Lift Off Awards, which was co-sponsored by the Victorian State Government. This goes without saying, I have demonstrated leadership and organizational and time management skills which go above and beyond what was expected of me. At the same time, I remain an easy going, approachable person with a wide variety of interests. For someone who has been involved with emerging technologies like big data and the blockchain, I still enjoy the mechanics of how things work – I find myself tinkering with my car on the weekends, reading novels and listening to vinyl in my spare time. I am fascinated to interact with others and develop ways of broadening my skills. By pursuing a career at Programmed, I look forward to the mutually beneficial experience of sharing my skills in a diverse environment while learning from those around me to achieve common outcomes.

Yours Sincerely,

Axxxx Zxxx

15 11 2018

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

This graduate application shows genuine interest in PPPs, supported by accurate-seeming data and a well-chosen pipeline example. However, the personal half relies on assertions rather than evidence. Your internship, company, competitions and award are listed but never explained. The opening claims superiority without proof, and the essay rarely connects your own experience to Programmed's Corporate Finance work.

Subject motivation

Most interestingly, in my perspective, is the innovation brought about as a result of PPP contracts.

This is your most convincing motivational moment. You identify a specific aspect of PPPs that appeals to you, outcome-focused contracting, and support it with an example. The earlier line about lasting change being a fond prospect for many is generic and could describe any applicant.

Academic preparation

including electives in Advanced Mathematics, Accounting and Teaching

You name the electives but not your degree. You also don't say how these subjects prepare you for corporate finance or asset management. A sentence linking Accounting or Mathematics to financial modelling or PPP evaluation would turn this list into evidence.

Evidence and reflection

By specifying the problem to be solved, rather than a particular infrastructure solution

Your analysis of the Northern Gas Pipeline shows real understanding of procurement design. The 2008 Melbourne figures are concrete. Reflection on yourself is absent, though. You never say what you learned from any experience you list, so the analytical depth stays external to you.

Relevant experience

showed initiative as a Financial Analyst intern and founded my own company

These are potentially strong and highly relevant experiences, yet each gets only a few words. What did you analyse as an intern? What does your company do, and what did running it teach you about commercial decisions? As written, a reader cannot assess them.

Credibility and voice

real world experience and aptitude that few graduates in my position have

Claims like this, and "This goes without saying," assert distinction rather than demonstrate it. They risk sounding overconfident. The award and the New York trip would carry more weight if described plainly. The car-tinkering detail gives a welcome, genuine glimpse of personality.

Structure and format

With regards to the Programmed Commercial Graduate Program.

The opening is a sentence fragment. The PPP section reads like a briefing paper, and the bracketed citation suits a report more than a letter. Your sections on PPPs and on yourself never meet. Phrasing slips, such as "public sector part" and "travel over the world," also need tidying.

What you’ve done well

The Northern Gas Pipeline example shows you understand why outcome-based specification can drive innovation in PPPs.
You explain a specific reason for choosing Programmed: mentorship in a field that usually hires experienced professionals.

How this draft could improve

Replace self-assessments like "well rounded team focused player" with one developed example, such as your internship or company, showing what you did and learned.
Shorten the general PPP statistics and use the space to connect your own skills to Programmed's Corporate Finance division.
Fix the opening fragment and proofread for awkward phrasing and inconsistent spelling of Program and Programme.

AI personal statement writer · £4.99 →

Commercial graduate personal statement