International Business personal statement

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Price: Free download
Published: 24th November 2020
Word count: 1204 words
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This is my third year at Sacramento State. I am required to choose a major and decide on what degree I want to purse as I come close to finishing all my general education requirements. I thought of going into engineering or computer science because I currently work in the technology industry and I find it fun but after taking some introductory classes, I knew that was not why I thought my job was fun. It was the interactions I had with my customers and the stories they tell me about when I am troubleshooting their products. They told me about where they lived and hidden gems to visit if I ever had the chance to go to their home country and it made me aspire to finish college faster, so I can travel the world and visit these places I heard about, but money became a problem. After college I would have to find a job to pay for bills and housing that I thought I would never be able to travel. Visiting another country is an experience but studying abroad is life changing. To be able to stay in another country as a local while expanding my education on culture and business standpoints is why studying abroad at Konkuk University, will be a monumental step in realizing my personal, academic, and career goals to my highest potential.

My parents migrated to the United States from Vietnam, and since an early age I have wanted to see and experience the same culture shock they had to deal by coming to America. I chose South Korea because it was the most budget friendly options and will give me the chance to see what my parents went through to get a better life. Although I am not fluent in the language or culture, I am confident that I can overcome these obstacles by utilizing the resources around me. By the end of my study abroad program, I would have developed a deeper understanding and appreciation for my parent`s struggle migrating to the United States.

As an international business major, this program will contribute to my overall academic success because I will be able to go to one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world. This program will allow me to earn units for my degree while I learn first-hand how my major can impact students all over the world. Being able to participate in this program will allow me to understand different culture`s work habits so I can understand and discover ways to use that to my advantage in my future career. The way the program works, the benefits students receive, and the personal growth that comes with constantly being independent in a different, city, state, our country.

I plan to one day work in South Korea after I graduate, and this program will give me the first-hand experience and connections necessary to be qualified and successful in doing so. By being completely immersed in the Korean culture and collecting resources prior to my graduation, I will be able to find a career opportunity faster. I want to work for Apple as a procurement specialist in South Korea and other countries in the future and studying in the country where I wish to work at in the future will give me a better advantage because I will already know how to get around and have a jumpstart on breaking the language barrier.

After extensive research of all possible programs, I am convinced that studying in South Korea at Konkuk University is an ideal match for my personal, academic, and career goals outlined above. South Korea is the country that works best with my budget, falls in line with my interests, and has the best modern and historical touch that I would love to live in. Thank you for this opportunity.

Feedback on this personal statement

The student’s personal statement is quite comprehensive and addresses several of the key questions that an effective personal statement should answer. However, there are areas where the statement could be strengthened to provide a more compelling and cohesive narrative. Let’s go through some prompts one by one and provide feedback:

Why have you chosen this course?

The student has explained their interest in the course by discussing their desire to study international business, specifically in the context of South Korea. They touch upon the appeal of experiencing a new culture and connecting with their own heritage. However, this could be expanded a bit further to provide a deeper insight into what specifically about international business and South Korea intrigues them.

What excites you about the subject?

The student does mention their excitement about learning firsthand how their major can impact students globally. However, it would be beneficial to elaborate more on what aspects of international business, cultural exchange, and business practices in South Korea specifically excite them.

Is my previous or current study relevant to the course?

The student could provide more explicit connections between their previous study or experiences and the field of international business. While they do mention working in the technology industry and interacting with customers, they could further explain how these experiences have equipped them with relevant skills or perspectives.

Have you got any work experience that might help you?

The student discusses their current job in the technology industry and how customer interactions have been meaningful to them. To enhance this section, they could provide specific examples of challenges they’ve encountered and how they’ve successfully navigated them, emphasizing skills that are transferable to the study of international business.

What life experiences have you had that you could talk about?

The student touches on their family’s migration history and their desire to experience cultural shock similar to their parents. While this is a valuable point, they could delve deeper into how these personal experiences have shaped their perspective and fueled their interest in international business.

What achievements are you proud of?

The student briefly mentions aspiring to finish college faster due to their desire to travel the world. While this shows determination, it could be beneficial to include other achievements, such as academic accomplishments or specific projects that showcase their abilities and determination.

What skills do you have that make you perfect for the course?

The student mentions developing an understanding of different cultures and work habits, but they could provide more specific examples of skills they possess that align with the requirements of the international business field, such as adaptability, communication skills, or an aptitude for cross-cultural collaboration.

What plans and ambitions do you have for your future career?

The student outlines their goal of working for Apple as a procurement specialist in South Korea. While this is a strong ambition, they could elaborate on how their chosen course of study and their experiences at Konkuk University will directly contribute to achieving this goal.

In summary, while the student’s personal statement provides a good foundation, it could benefit from further elaboration and specificity in certain areas. By providing more concrete examples, connecting experiences directly to the field of international business, and articulating a stronger link between their studies and future career goals, the statement could become even more compelling and effective.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

This study-abroad statement from a third-year Sacramento State student has a genuine starting point: you discovered that customer stories, not technology itself, drew you outward. The draft weakens when it leans on budget, broad claims about Korea and an unclear link to your parents' migration. Several errors and an incomplete sentence undercut otherwise sincere, clearly stated goals.

Subject motivation

It was the interactions I had with my customers and the stories they tell me

This is your most convincing motive because it comes from your own work. You never explain why those conversations point to international business rather than travel in general. Saying what about cross-border commerce, supply or customer culture interests you would turn curiosity into academic motivation.

Academic preparation

This program will allow me to earn units for my degree

You mention units and general education, but no Konkuk modules, Sacramento State coursework, or business concepts you have studied. Naming one or two relevant classes or course areas would show you are prepared to use the exchange academically, not just practically.

Evidence and reflection

after taking some introductory classes, I knew that was not why I thought my job was fun

This is real reflection. You tested an assumption and revised your direction. Develop it by saying what the classes showed you and what you learned about yourself. The later reflections on culture shock and work habits stay predictive rather than grounded in experience.

Relevant experience

I want to work for Apple as a procurement specialist in South Korea

Your technology job is useful evidence, but troubleshooting is never connected to procurement, suppliers or cross-cultural communication. A specific customer interaction, and what it taught you about handling different expectations, would make this concrete career goal feel earned rather than asserted.

Credibility and voice

I chose South Korea because it was the most budget friendly options

Your candour is refreshing, but leading with cost, and repeating it at the end, makes Korea seem chosen for convenience. The link to your parents' migration from Vietnam to America is also forced. Explain honestly what you hope to learn by living as an outsider.

Structure and format

The way the program works, the benefits students receive, and the personal growth

This sentence has no main verb, and errors such as 'purse', 'deal by', 'our country' and 'parent`s' recur. The paragraph order works, from motivation to family, academics, career and fit. Proofreading and tightening repeated 'first-hand' and 'personal, academic, and career goals' phrasing would help.

What you’ve done well

You reached your choice of major by reflecting on why your tech job appealed to you, which gives the statement an authentic origin.
Your career aim, procurement for Apple in South Korea, is specific and gives the exchange a clear purpose.

How this draft could improve

Replace general claims about Korea being technologically advanced with named Konkuk courses or study areas and how they fit your international business degree.
Add one detailed customer or workplace example and explain which skill from it transfers to international business or procurement.
Proofread closely, fix the incomplete sentence, and reduce the emphasis on budget so your academic reasons lead.

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