- Reading time: 3 minutes
- Price: Free download
- Published: 22nd November 2021
- Word count: 774 words
- File format: Text
Gloves and mask on, the dentist placed the almost gleaming set of new dentures into the mouth of his patient. An elderly woman, after living without the majority of her teeth for many years, had finally received her dentures following months of impressions and dental work. Upon receiving a mirror from the dentist, her eyes shot open and showed one of the largest smiles I have seen to this day, crying of joy at the sight of her restored teeth. In front of my very eyes, the dental team restored both the patient’s smile and confidence after so much time had passed without them. This instant while shadowing at the dental office is the exact moment I became fully assured that dentistry is what I wished to pursue. Witnessing the immense value dentists have in society inspired me to want to improve not only peoples’ well-being but also their appearance and confidence.
Although I have not yet had the opportunity to learn and perfect skills and techniques needed for helping patients through dentistry, I have assisted patients through a volunteer position at the same-day surgery department at my local hospital. I recall an instance when a child, freshly freed from his tonsils, was sitting in his assigned room at the hospital with his mother. The anesthesia had begun to wear off, and he began to softly weep because of his throat. Being a volunteer working with the nurses of the department, I took it upon myself to comfort him as much as I could. I swiftly grabbed and handed the boy a cherry popsicle. He instantly perked up with a gigantic smile that filled the room. I think about that moment a lot—and moments like it where I made a noticeable difference in someone’s day. It is this motivation to make these differences that pushes me to want to help patients; being a dentist would allow me not only to make a difference in one person’s day but in many people’s lives.
At college, I have continued the philosophy to try to improve the lives of those around me; one way I have done this is by uniting people through leadership positions. One of the most rewarding endeavors I have undertaken at Gustavus Adolphus College is being a teacher’s assistant for an underclassman biology lab. I find the process of using my own knowledge to further the learning and understanding of others a very rewarding process. In addition, being a president of a fraternity, leading a diverse board of individuals to plan and execute events, means that I can make a larger impact on the community than if I was just by myself. Through my fraternity, I have contributed to raising money for Children’s Miracle Network, cleaning up litter in my college town, and hosting a swab drive in association with the National Marrow Donor Program. I also have made impacts on campus individually by helping run a Special Olympics event, being a representative for the Safer Sex carnival fair to promote safe sexual practices, being elected an officer in the Pre-Health Club to aid those looking towards a future career in healthcare, and participating in the Gustavus Crossroads Program to promote cultural understanding. Through all of these experiences, I have used my knowledge and leadership positions in organizations to strive to benefit the community.
The source of my passion to help, particularly through a dental approach, may have come from when I was very young. At a very young age, I developed a speech impediment, the cause being ankyloglossia. I felt embarrassment for my inability to communicate with others. An oral surgeon later helped me overcome this problem. Even to this day, I give an enormous smile at the very thought of the instrumental work done by those dental professionals to significantly improve my speech as well as my confidence. This experience has led me to want to reciprocate the feelings to as many as I can.
It has been said that your vocation should be where your greatest joy intersects with the world’s greatest needs. For me, I believe that dentistry is this intersection; it combines my passions—helping others, lifelong learning, leading and collaboration, working with my hands, and science—with the tremendous need for dentists in society. Through all of these past experiences, I have realized that dentistry is the field I wanted to pursue; I am confident that this is the profession that will allow me to use my interest, passions, and skills crafted over the years to positively contribute to the health, lifestyle, and confidence of members of the community.
Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve
Your statement is warm and sincere, with a vivid shadowing opening and a genuinely relevant personal link through ankyloglossia. It reads as a US-style dental school application from a college student. Its main weakness is depth: motivation rests on smiles and helping, while science preparation, manual skill and reflection on what dentistry actually demands remain thin or listed rather than examined.
Subject motivation
the exact moment I became fully assured that dentistry is what I wished to pursue
The denture scene gives a concrete trigger, and the ankyloglossia story adds a personal reason. Yet your motivation centres almost entirely on emotional reactions. You could explain what you understood about the clinical process, such as the months of impressions, and why it appealed beyond the patient's smile.
Academic preparation
being a teacher’s assistant for an underclassman biology lab
This is your only direct sign of academic engagement. It is useful, but you describe it in a single general sentence. Naming what you taught, or a scientific idea you came to understand better, would show readiness for the demanding science of dental training. Your coursework and wider academic interests are absent.
Evidence and reflection
I think about that moment a lot
The popsicle anecdote is specific, but your reflection stays at making a difference in someone's day. Comforting a post-surgical child could prompt insight into managing pain, anxiety or communication with families. Those are directly relevant to dentistry, and naming them would turn kindness into professional understanding.
Relevant experience
This instant while shadowing at the dental office
Shadowing, hospital volunteering and Pre-Health Club roles are all relevant. However, the shadowing appears only as one moment. Adding how long you shadowed, what routine dentistry looked like and what challenged you would make it much stronger evidence than the list of fraternity and campus events.
Credibility and voice
one of the largest smiles I have seen to this day
Your voice is earnest, but smile imagery recurs repeatedly: a gigantic smile, an enormous smile, restored smiles. That makes the writing feel formulaic. Phrases like the immense value dentists have in society are broad, and they would be more convincing if replaced by grounded observation.
Structure and format
I also have made impacts on campus individually by helping run
The paragraphs are clearly organised. The third paragraph, though, becomes an activity list with little connection to dentistry, and the childhood story arrives late. If you moved it earlier, or linked it to the opening, the narrative would feel more coherent. The vocation quotation conclusion is also familiar.
What you’ve done well
- The opening denture scene is specific and observed, and it shows you have seen a real treatment outcome.
- Your ankyloglossia experience gives an authentic, relevant connection to oral health and its effects on confidence.
How this draft could improve
- Expand the shadowing into reflection on the clinical reality of dentistry: its procedures, its challenges and what you learned about the profession.
- Replace the activity list with one or two experiences you examine in depth, linking each to a skill dentists use.
- Reduce the repeated smile imagery and add evidence of your scientific interest and manual dexterity, since your conclusion claims both.
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