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- Published: 29th November 2021
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It was during one of my lectures of psychology class that lecturer was discussing about human emotions and nature of caring and she quoted Nobel Peace Prize winner Dr. Albert Schweitzer- ” The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.” I left that class with many questions in my mind and one of which was to identify the purpose of my life, to direct my life and career in a direction where I can serve the society, achieve my goal of making a professional career and a profession that can give an outlet to my urge of helping people who are in desperate need of help. Health is the most important asset for everyone. When we are sick with medical illnesses, we realize how invaluable is the help and support we receive from others and we never forget those who stood by us fighting the sickness.
My interest in the healthcare and nursing was seeded back in my childhood. During one of the evening when I went to see my hospitalized grandfather who had been diagnosed with terminal colon cancer and underwent surgery and placement of ileostomy bag. He was also unable to eat and needed nutrition through tubes directly placed in his stomach. I was very afraid and sad to see him in this condition yet, curious as to how he would be able to take care of himself. Just at the time his nurse arrived who changed the ambience of the whole room. She helped him with his bags and tubes as it was normal, not only had that she communicated with us in a way that made us feel as if she were our family member. She showed compassion and care towards my grandfather that reassured us that he is in good hands. Her words were soothing, and she filled us with hope and positive energy to deal with this serious medical illness. She made my grandfather smile and made him feel that he is a human first and patient later and we are together in helping him with his battle against cancer. I was very impressed by his nurse and I developed highest level of respect for her and towards nursing profession.
I grew up in the family of physicians. My elder brother and my cousins choose medical specialties as their career choice. Healthcare related discussions was always at our dinner table. My brother always spoke very highly about the nurses he is working with. I learned how nurses protect their patient, know every detail about them whether it is pain or family issue they are worried about and always eager to help their patients. I received ample amount of support when I discussed my career choice of nursing with my family.
During my undergraduate years at UC Davis I focused on pre-nursing classes to expand my understanding of human biology and physiology. I expanded my multilingual skills to my knowledge of Hindi, Urdu and English by undertaking Spanish course in my college. I volunteered at the Kaiser Permanente hospital and assisted cancer patients with their chemotherapy and radiation appointments. Moreover, I completed clinical medical assistant course and consolidated my experience by undertaking an internship at Rehabilitation clinic. California medical facility is yet another institution that gave me an opportunity to advance my knowledge by assisting the psychiatrists to provide quality healthcare to inmate patients, perform medical tests on patients, update medical records and analyzing patients records to determine the lab procedure to be conducted. These years of experiences provided the first hand insight into what life as a nurse is like as well as familiarized me with practical aspect of nursing care. My experiences only strengthened my determination to pursue a career path as a nurse.
My academic qualifications and the extensive experience and knowledge I acquired from the intensive interaction with patients and different professionals in the nursing field and the educational requirement, make me fit the school’s mission which focuses on cultivating academic excellence through immersive and interdisciplinary education research in partnership with communities it serves. Having undertaken a course in the nursing sector as well as in cultural anthropology will help me to discover and disseminate information that will help to improve the quality of healthcare and shape the policy which is in line with the school’s mission. Besides nursing, I have also acquired knowledge and experience in different disciplines such as education as a tutor at Douglass middle school and Gibson elementary school. As a tutor, I was able to counsel children with social and emotional problems and mentor them on their academics.
I thrive on the gratitude I receive from my patients and their families and always strive to do more. I would like to have my nursing training in an environment where I can learn basic principles of nursing care and acquire clinical nursing skills required to deliver efficient nursing care. Long term, I would also like to participate in clinical outreach programs and to extend the healthcare to those in the community who do not have access to the proper healthcare. Eventually I would also like to be involved in educating and in training next generation of nursing professionals.
Undertaking a Master’s of Science in Nursing Science and Healthcare Leadership will significantly assist me to achieve my goal to become a Nurse Practitioner and be able to provide quality and accessible health care to those who cannot afford it and to improve the general community health care. This will be made possible by going through innovative education, and transformative research focused on UC Davis Betty Irene Moore school of nursing vision. Also, from the school’s core disciplines which are leadership development, cultural inclusiveness and innovative technology will help me to achieve a modern and efficient health care system which will be inclusive of all community members irrespective of their culture.
2018-7-26-1532572767
Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve
Your statement has real raw material: a vivid nurse encounter, sustained clinical volunteering, and a named programme. It is weakened by a generic quotation opening, experiences listed rather than examined, and school-fit paragraphs that echo mission language without showing what you learned. For a postgraduate leadership MSc, leadership and research thinking need far more concrete evidence and reflection.
Subject motivation
Just at the time his nurse arrived who changed the ambience of the whole room.
The grandfather's nurse is your most convincing motivation because it shows a specific behaviour that impressed you. The Schweitzer quotation and 'Health is the most important asset' are broad and could open any healthcare statement. Motivation for leadership specifically, rather than nursing generally, is barely explained.
Academic preparation
I focused on pre-nursing classes to expand my understanding of human biology and physiology.
You name relevant coursework, plus Spanish and cultural anthropology, but give no topics, findings or ideas that shaped your thinking. A Master's reader needs evidence of academic engagement, for example a concept from physiology or anthropology you applied in clinical settings, or an interest in health policy research.
Evidence and reflection
These years of experiences provided the first hand insight into what life as a nurse is like
This sentence summarises rather than reflects. Across Kaiser Permanente, the rehabilitation internship and the correctional facility, you never describe one patient interaction, difficulty or lesson. Choosing one experience and explaining what it taught you about nursing care or system gaps would be far stronger than listing all of them.
Relevant experience
assisted cancer patients with their chemotherapy and radiation appointments
Your experience is substantial and well matched, especially oncology volunteering, which echoes your grandfather's story, and psychiatric work with inmate patients, which suits your access goals. That link is never drawn. Tutoring is relevant too, but 'counsel children' needs concrete detail to be persuasive.
Credibility and voice
I thrive on the gratitude I receive from my patients and their families
Phrases like 'extensive experience' and helping 'achieve a modern and efficient health care system' overstate your likely role before training. Calling those you assisted 'my patients' may also read as overstated. The childhood scene sounds genuinely yours, and more of that observational voice would improve credibility.
Structure and format
make me fit the school’s mission which focuses on cultivating academic excellence
The chronology is clear, but the final three paragraphs repeat mission statements and goals at length. Grammatical slips ('choose' for chose, 'discussions was', 'not only had that she') undermine a professional application. Your family paragraph adds little, and the closing could be shorter and more specific.
What you’ve done well
- Your grandfather's nurse is described through concrete actions, such as handling tubes calmly and treating him as 'a human first', which makes the motivation feel lived rather than claimed.
- You show a sustained, varied clinical record, including oncology support, rehabilitation and correctional psychiatric care, that genuinely supports your goal of serving underserved communities.
How this draft could improve
- Replace the opening quotation and generic health claims with your own story, then develop one or two clinical experiences in depth: what happened, what you noticed and how it changed your view of nursing.
- Explain why leadership matters to you, using an observed problem in care delivery or access, and tie specific programme features to that interest instead of restating the school's mission wording.
- Proofread carefully for grammar and tense, and remove inflated phrases such as 'extensive experience' in favour of precise descriptions of your responsibilities.
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