I would like to study English at University because I want to discover myself. Most of the girls I went to school with have had babies by now but I’m not ready for that. My Dad keeps telling me to marry my boyfriend, Denny, and have a baby, but I ask him how can I settle down and have a baby if I’ve not even discovered myself? He doesn’t understand, neither of them do. It’s all so simple for them.
I didn’t do well at school but I didn’t appreciate it back then. I’ve since come to realise the value of learning and I really want to learn. I work in a ladies hairdressers, I’d say I’m good at it, but people expect too much. If you want to change, it’s got to come from the inside. That’s another reason I want to study English at University, there’s no point in discovering myself if I can’t change the bits I don’t like.
I’m a keen reader and I’m often seen down the local library, although Denny gets mad if I read when the telly’s on. My favourite book is Rubyfruit Jungle, by Rita Mae Brown, but I would like to branch out and read other kinds of books if I had the chance. I hope that going to University will mean I can try a lot of new things. I’m a bit scared of students, they seem so clever, but people tell me I’m clever too. All I know is I’m not like everyone else round here.
Sometimes people misunderstand me, because of the way I talk I think, and that means some people don’t think I’m being serious, but I am totally serious about this. I want knowledge, a room full of books. I want to know what wine to buy, what clothes to wear, what plays to see, what papers to read. It probably doesn’t sound like much to most people but it’s a lot for me. Then, and only then, can I decide if I want to settle down and have a baby – when it really will be my choice.
Who knows? I might fall in love with my lecturer and end up running off with him to Australia. You never know, but I doubt it. What I do know is I don’t want what I’ve got right now and going to University will give me the chance I’ve always wanted to make something out of myself, to do something worthwhile in life.
To have a better song to sing.
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