History personal statement example (2)

Reading time: 3 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 24th March 2021
Word count: 757 words
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Can we really say history is preventative when seventy four years after the holocaust, thousands of Uighur Muslims are being held in “re-education centers” in China? Can we really say history represents all cultures when schools only teach Eurocentric history? Can we really say that everyone has a chance to contribute to history when it is the people in power who decide the course that history takes?

History has the potential to make the world a more tolerant place. Exposure to viewpoints from different cultures, classes and political groups is the only way we can move forward as a society.

I love the breadth and diversity of history and how we can experience the past through different mediums: from researching the medical records of thousands of people spanning an entire century to visiting the sites of historical significance. Recently I visited Lancaster Castle, where eleven of the accused Lancashire Witches were held. Exploring the courtrooms and cells where they were held gave me a more vivid understanding of the case, breaking down the barrier that can be created by statistics and data. Studying Primary Sources also interests me. A case I found particularly interesting was the 1597 ‘Boy Of Burton’ episode. I was compelled to find out more, and read extracts from Samuel Harsnetts’ ‘The discoverie of the fraudulent practices of John Darrell’. While I found the language challenging, I loved seeing how and why Harsnett became skeptical, willing to go against the status quo.

The form of history I find most intriguing and exciting is oral history. Written history tends to flatten the emotional content of speech, meaning that attitudes towards certain topics may be hard to pick up. I was lucky enough to win a Cambridge University independent research project looking at how migration, driven by the Sri Lankan Civil War, affected immigrants and their communities. When questioning my interviewee about how immigrating to the UK had affected her family, she took breaks and slowed down her speech, clearly showing that this period of her life had had a profound impact on her.

As History Ambassador, I believe I have a role to play in introducing other A-Level students to areas of history they may be unfamiliar with. I created the history documentary club, in which A-Level students watch documentaries covering a range of topics. I also help run a debate club. When planning for debate club, I have to create powerpoints discussing a topic that is topical and relevant to current affairs, but most importantly will encourage debate. This has helped me to respect and become aware of different opinions.

My other A-level subjects have also contributed to my understanding of History as a discipline. Psychology has enabled me to understand the role of social influence processes in social change, for example, how a minority group like the Suffragettes were able to cause huge societal change resulting in women’s suffrage. Biology allows me to be objective and to analyse and deal with different forms of data.

Outside academia, I worked with the marketing team at River Island’s Head Office, where I learnt how to accurately cite and reference products on their social media platform and present information in a way that was understandable to the customer. I also learnt how to manage my time effectively, ensuring that I kept up with course work and delivered my assignments in on time. Frequently I do event work, working both behind the scenes planning events and helping out on the day. When planning the event I have had to be organised, deal with suppliers, cater activities to the targeted audience and ensure that the event is both fun and profitable. I have also had experience working at a special needs secondary school, where I had to work with a variety of pupils with varying needs. This has developed my communication skills and taught me how to show initiative and remain calm in challenging situations. I believe these skills will equip me for a university environment, in which I will have to work independently and manage my time sensibly.

I am part of St Johns ambulance cadets. When working as a first aider I have to be able to make sensible decisions in an ever changing environment and to take responsibility for the care of patients. I like to stay active through ice skating and Explorers. Explorers has also given me the opportunity to develop essential team skills and raise money for charity, in December I slept outside in a cardboard box to raise money for Shelter.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

A lively History statement with genuine curiosity and some excellent concrete evidence, especially the Harsnett reading and the oral history project. Its weaknesses are an opening of rhetorical questions that it never answers, sweeping claims, and a long second half where activities are listed with generic skill claims rather than reflection connected to studying history.

Subject motivation

Can we really say history is preventative when seventy four years after the holocaust

Your opening shows real conviction about why history matters, but the three rhetorical questions and the claim that exposure is 'the only way' forward stay abstract. The later sections never return to answer them. Motivation becomes more convincing when you describe a specific source or interview that changed how you think.

Academic preparation

read extracts from Samuel Harsnetts’ ‘The discoverie of the fraudulent practices of John Darrell'

Choosing to read a demanding early modern text shows you work independently beyond the syllabus, and noting Harsnett's scepticism shows awareness of authorship. The Psychology link to the Suffragettes is reasonable. The Biology point about objectivity is asserted, and the medical records research is mentioned but never explained.

Evidence and reflection

she took breaks and slowed down her speech

This is your strongest reflective moment. You observe a detail and use it to support your earlier claim that written history flattens emotion. You could go further by considering the methodological issues oral history raises, such as memory, interpretation or the interviewer's influence.

Relevant experience

I created the history documentary club

The History Ambassador role and the clubs are relevant, but you describe them rather than showing what you learned. Which documentary provoked disagreement? The River Island, event and special school paragraphs offer transferable skills only, and those skills are stated generically, not evidenced through specific moments.

Credibility and voice

Exploring the courtrooms and cells where they were held gave me a more vivid understanding

Your enthusiasm is sincere and age-appropriate, and the Lancaster Castle visit sounds personal. Credibility weakens with absolute claims such as 'the only way' and the blanket statement that schools teach only Eurocentric history. Small errors such as 'Harsnetts’' and 'Primary Sources' also undercut the precision your opening implies.

Structure and format

I am part of St Johns ambulance cadets.

The historical sections flow well, but roughly the final third becomes a list of activities. The statement ends abruptly on charity fundraising with no conclusion bringing you back to history. A brief closing that links your interests to university study would make the structure feel coherent.

What you’ve done well

The oral history project uses a concrete observation from your interview to support a genuine point about historical method.
Your independent reading of Harsnett and your interest in his scepticism show curiosity beyond set work.

How this draft could improve

Either develop the opening questions with a position the statement actually argues, or replace them with a more specific starting point.
Condense the work and extracurricular paragraphs and use the space to reflect more deeply on your research, sources or the medical records project.
Add a short conclusion that ties your interests in diverse perspectives and oral history to what you want to study next.

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