- Reading time: 2 minutes
- Price: Free download
- Published: 21st February 2022
- Word count: 484 words
- File format: Text
Personal Background
I have been people’s person my whole life. I am an organiser and I like to be of help to others and that is one of the reasons why I chose Human Resources Management Program. My hometown is Ludhiana city in the state of Punjab in India where I was born and brought up. I did high school while staying there and later graduated from University of Delhi with a Bachelor of Commerce degree.
Apart from academics I took part in a volunteering project during my college under which I had the opportunity to teach less fortunate children of slums. This experience made me thoughtful, considerate, and more empathetic. I was also a part of organising teams of two college societies and helped coordinate fests and events which made me a better teamwork.
Career Aspirations
I want to build a career as an HR professional in Canada and after completing this Diploma I would look for an entry level job position so that I can gain work experience and understand how to practically use the skills and HR strategies in a business. After gaining some work experience, I wish to attain CPHR designation which will further help me achieve my long-term goal to take up a higher position. I see myself as a HR Coordinator of a corporation in the next 7 years.
Current Situation with work and University
Due to ongoing pandemic, I am not able to travel to Canada. So, I will be taking online classes from my home country. I am a full-time student at KPU, and this is my first semester. I am not working at present as I want to focus on my studies but once I come to Canada, I will work part time to financially support myself and to gain work experience. I would also love to do internships as it is a great way to attain hands on practical knowledge.
Understanding of plagiarism, Citing in APA Format and The Consequences of Plagiarism
After researching I understood that plagiarism is the act of presenting someone else’s ideas and thoughts as your own (Cambridge dictionary, n.d.) . There are 3 forms of plagiarism. Copying someone else’s work, a blend of your own ideas and a large share of copied words without acknowledging the original author or source and paraphrasing without acknowledging the actual source of information (Neville, 2010). That is why we require citations.
Citation is providing a reference about the source where you got the information from. American Psychological Association (APA) has set guidelines and rules which need to be followed while citing (Kestler, APA Style Citations). I learnt about citation and referencing through YouTube tutorials provided on erinwrightwriting.com (Wright, 2020). I understand plagiarism is considered as Integrity violation and has serious consequences like grade penalties, academic penalties and in worst cases it may even lead to suspension (Kestler, Academic Integrity).
May 17, 2021
2021-5-16-1621153413
Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve
This is a sectioned statement written early in a KPU HR diploma, partly an orientation task with a plagiarism and APA section. It is clear and honest about goals, but motivation and experience rest on broad self-description. Volunteering and society organising are promising evidence, yet you rarely explain what you did or how it connects to HR work.
Subject motivation
I have been people’s person my whole life.
Your reason for choosing HR is stated as a personality trait rather than shown. Liking to help and organise fits many fields. Naming a moment when you noticed how people are recruited, supported or managed would make the choice of HR specifically convincing.
Academic preparation
graduated from University of Delhi with a Bachelor of Commerce degree
A commerce degree is relevant preparation, but you only list it. Mentioning a module, such as organisational behaviour or business law, and what it taught you about workplaces would show how your degree prepares you for this diploma.
Evidence and reflection
This experience made me thoughtful, considerate, and more empathetic.
Teaching children in slums is meaningful evidence, but the reflection is a list of adjectives. Describe one challenge, such as keeping a mixed-age group engaged, and what you changed. That would show real learning instead of generic qualities.
Relevant experience
helped coordinate fests and events which made me a better teamwork
Event coordination connects naturally to HR tasks like scheduling, delegation and resolving disagreements. Right now it is a single clause. Saying what you coordinated, how many people were involved and one problem you handled would turn this into strong, concrete evidence.
Credibility and voice
I see myself as a HR Coordinator of a corporation in the next 7 years.
Your goals are realistic and well staged: an entry-level job, then the CPHR designation, then coordinator. This sounds grounded and believable. The plagiarism section relies heavily on sources, so your own voice fades there. A sentence on how you will apply citation rules would help.
Structure and format
Current Situation with work and University
The headings suit an assignment-style statement and make it easy to follow. Small errors weaken the polish, for example "a better teamwork", "people's person" and "a HR". The trailing date and code line looks like leftover submission text and should be removed.
What you’ve done well
- Your career plan is specific and plausible, naming the CPHR designation and a realistic seven-year target.
- You honestly explain your online-study situation and your plan for part-time work and internships.
- The plagiarism section correctly distinguishes three forms of plagiarism and cites sources for each.
How this draft could improve
- Replace trait claims with one concrete example from event organising or teaching, saying what you did and what it taught you about managing people.
- Link your Bachelor of Commerce study explicitly to HR by naming a relevant course or concept.
- Proofread grammar and articles, and remove the trailing timestamp line.
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