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Medical school personal statement example (Doctor)

Student-written example
  • Reading time: 3 minutes
  • Price: Free download
  • Published: 21st October 2021
  • Word count: 677 words
  • File format: Text

Appreciating the rare chance of life I have been granted has lead me to make the most of it by using it to better the world and help those around me. This outlook has lead me to confirm, after becoming better aware of the responsibilities of the profession, I want to be a doctor.

One opportunity that led me to this conclusion was volunteering at a hospital. Here I observed the importance of empathy as a doctor, as when this approach was employed it allowed patients to open up and form trust. Eagerly I followed the same approach to better understand the way a doctor must communicate, which mutually enhanced my competence in other roles, particularly that of a peer mentor, which involves working with pupils in school on sensitive issues such  as sexual health and drugs. For me, conversing with patients was the most enjoyable aspect of volunteering, as it allowed me to comfort the more distressed patients, which always gave me a huge sense of fulfilment.

As part of medic insight, I shadowed a doctor on the respiratory ward of a hospital. I became aware of how active doctors’ jobs are, as we were constantly switching from one task to the next. This emphasized how significant good communication between doctors, nurses, and patients is. All staff were aware of each patient’s condition and worked in an interdisciplinary team to keep the ward running. I still consider this one of my most enjoyable work experiences, as the organisation that emerged from such a rush was incredible. I also found the “Hello my name is” approach the doctors took when meeting with each patient admiring, as this immediately developed a mutual respect, prior to asking questions to extract the history and symptoms of each patient.

Through Reach, I shadowed a medical student at university. A lecture on the epidemiology of coronary heart disease allowed me to comprehend that doctors do not only learn to treat people, but must also appreciate the extensive causes and factors that increase the risk of disease. This was something I had never considered before, but came to realise its significance in terms of battling diseases. It made me further appreciate the wide range of knowledge a doctor must possess, which in turn is a factor that drives me further towards wanting to pursue a career as a doctor.

In the summer holiday, I took part in a Sutton Trust summer school, where I attended medicine classes for a week. I became aware of differences between medical students and other students at university. Medical students are considered doctors in training from their first day so must conduct themselves in a more professional manner than other students would have to. I  learned how essential this professionalism is for a career in medicine, as doctors must also  employ professional behaviours, such as following medical ethics.

In free time, I enjoy keeping up with current medical news. News that particularly interested me was the use of CRISPR-CAS9 in an embryo, to remove a gene that can cause Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, as during the summer holiday I took part in a Nuffield research placement where I used CRISPR technology to delete genes in yeast cells.

As head girl, I have developed leadership skills that have also strengthened my ability to  work as part of a team and communicate effectively. This role, along with being a “My World of Work” ambassador, house captain and running after school masterclasses for younger pupils, has also improved my organisational skills. Through the experiences I have had, I have come to learn that each of these are skills essential for a doctor to possess.

I do not underestimate the difficulty of a doctor’s job. However, I am persevering and prospect of a career in which I would be continuously learning, challenging myself, and a to positively impact on peoples lives, excites me. I hope and aspire that one day I will be able to look back as a doctor and know I made good use of this life that I have been granted.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

You show a sincere, well-sourced interest in medicine, drawing on volunteering, shadowing, a summer school and a research placement. The draft's main weakness is that many experiences end in observations or generic lessons rather than personal reflection. The Nuffield CRISPR work, potentially your most distinctive evidence, is underused, and some phrasing errors weaken an otherwise thoughtful voice.

Subject motivation

Appreciating the rare chance of life I have been granted

Your opening frames motivation as a general wish to better the world, which could apply to many careers. The later point about epidemiology broadening your view is more convincing. Ground the opening in a specific moment, such as comforting distressed patients, that shows why medicine in particular suits you.

Academic preparation

I used CRISPR technology to delete genes in yeast cells

This is strong, concrete evidence of practical scientific work, but you give it only one clause, attached to a news item. You could explain what you investigated, what went wrong or surprised you, and what the work taught you about evidence or method. That would demonstrate preparation more convincingly than listing exposure.

Evidence and reflection

conversing with patients was the most enjoyable aspect of volunteering

You say how experiences made you feel, but rarely what you learned about yourself or patients. The point about empathy helping patients open up is promising. One specific conversation, and what it changed in how you communicate, would turn general enjoyment into genuine reflection.

Relevant experience

I shadowed a doctor on the respiratory ward of a hospital

Your range of placements is appropriate, and noticing the "Hello my name is" approach shows attentive observation. Several paragraphs, however, describe what doctors or medical students do rather than your role. Linking peer mentoring on sensitive topics more fully to patient communication would make this section more distinctive.

Credibility and voice

I have developed leadership skills that have also strengthened my ability

Your voice is earnest and plausible for your stage, but the leadership paragraph relies on asserted skills without examples. Errors such as "has lead," "I am persevering and prospect," and "a to positively impact" distract the reader. Careful proofreading would protect your credibility.

Structure and format

I hope and aspire that one day I will be able

The chronological, experience-by-experience structure is clear and easy to follow. Your conclusion neatly returns to the opening theme, though "hope and aspire" is redundant. Some paragraphs end with similar formulaic lessons. Giving more space to fewer, deeper examples would improve the balance.

What you’ve done well

  • You draw on a coherent range of clinical, academic and research experiences, including the Nuffield placement, Reach shadowing and the Sutton Trust summer school.
  • Specific observations, such as the "Hello my name is" introductions and the epidemiology lecture, show that you notice how medicine works beyond treatment alone.

How this draft could improve

  • Expand the CRISPR yeast research into a short reflective account of what you did and learned, then connect it to your interest in the embryo gene-editing news, perhaps including its ethical questions.
  • Replace generic skill claims in the leadership paragraph with one concrete example, such as a mentoring session or masterclass, and explain its relevance to clinical communication.
  • Proofread for grammatical errors and redundant phrases, especially in the opening and closing paragraphs.

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