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- Published: 11th July 2019
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I am cordially making an application for admission to a Masters Course in Marketing in your prestigious institution. I am a graduate in marketing having successfully done a BBA Honours in Finance and Marketing from Lahore School of Economics back in 2016. Also, I studied Inter-Commerce at the Defence Degree College and graduated in 2012.
The interest to pursue the master’s program in the United Kingdom was triggered when I was still pursuing a marketing degree course back in Lahore, Pakistan. As a result of my various interests, I believe that pursuing this master’s course in the UK is the best thing that can happen to me.
I am an Ahmadi Muslim originally from Pakistan but currently residing in the United Kingdom as a refugee. The reasons which made me flee Pakistan were the constant threats on my life and wellbeing as an Ahmadi Muslim. Precisely, Ahmadi Muslims represent a minority religious group in Pakistan that has faced persecution for years. The group has been targeted, marginalised and segregated against; for example, recently, a renowned economist Atif Mian was nominated as an adviser to the newly elected Prime Minister Imran Khan. However, there have been numerous protests from religious extremist groups concerning his nomination. This ouster of a high ranking figure such as Mian has resulted in hopelessness among the Ahmadi Muslims including myself. With such persecutions and religious discrimination, there exist reduced chance that individuals like me can succeed in Pakistan.
All these persecutions, marginalisation and discrimination made me flee the country in search of a better place to pursue advanced studies. Thus, the United Kingdom was a haven for me. Being a refugee in the UK, I seek to be admitted to this university to fulfil my dream of attaining a master’s degree in Marketing and Finance.
Ideally, my interest in the area of marketing started when I was young. During my growth and education life in Pakistan, I have pursued and excelled in various projects and programs within the marketing field. Doubtlessly, I completed a consumer research program leading to the launching of a new product including a comprehensive marketing campaign for the product. Besides, I carried out a marketing survey for Black Airways leading to the launching of a new marketing and advertisement strategy for the airline. I also carried out a marketing analysis for Geo TV Ramadan and successfully presented the results.
In strategic management, I completed a detailed strategic analysis for Faysal Bank in Lahore and revised most of its strategies. I also participated in the study of financial accounts for Gharibwal Cement Company for five years. During the undergraduate research in Pakistan, I researched on “Effect of Store Design on Purchase Intention with the Moderating Effect of CSR Practices.” Thus, I believe to get an opportunity to pursue my studies at the university.
Being a graduate in BBA (Honors) in both Marketing and Finance, it is now time to look for new challenges and steps in my career. Consequently, getting a master’s degree will represent a worthy and justifiable challenge for me. Besides, I am an individual with a strong belief in continual personal development. I am confident in exploring and pursuing new directions in life. This is coupled with the ability to learn quickly and adapt to new and different obstacles. With a wide range of experience and transferable skills obtained during education and employment, I can comfortably tackle the master’s program without hiccups and disappointments. My English language is also fluent. Thus, communication while in the UK is not a problem. Experience in marketing, teamwork and project management makes me an ideal candidate for consideration.
My work placement at NHS-Cancer Services from September 2017 as an MDT Administrator has largely reinforced the interest in the fields of administration and coordination of office activities. I also worked at NHS-Patient Records as a Patient Records Clerk where I prepared and updated various patient records. In January to May 2017, I worked as a customer service representative for Greggs Plc. Most of these companies where I have worked are in the United Kingdom. Hence, I am highly placed to succeed in the Master’s Degree program there.
The global reputation of your institution has attracted a majority of students to pursue further studies at the university from all over the world. I also believe that the university offers excellent conditions for learning and recreational facilities that are critical for learning.
Concluding, I hope you will take into consideration my personal circumstances as a refugee and take into account my passion to study in order to progress further in my career.
Mxxxxxxx Sxxxxx Axxxxx
1/12/2018
Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve
This postgraduate statement has genuine material: a relevant BBA, named analytical projects, a dissertation topic and UK work. Its weakness is explanation. Projects are listed rather than examined, the course is variously called Marketing and Marketing and Finance, and motivation leans on UK study and circumstances more than on specific questions you want to pursue.
Subject motivation
my interest in the area of marketing started when I was young
This asserts an early interest without showing what sparked it or what questions in marketing now engage you. Your strongest motivational material is probably the store design research, but you never explain what it made you curious about or why a master's is the next step intellectually.
Academic preparation
Effect of Store Design on Purchase Intention with the Moderating Effect of CSR Practices
A precise, credible research title showing real preparation in consumer behaviour and methods. It is mentioned only once, though. Briefly describing your method, a finding, or a limitation would demonstrate research capability far more convincingly than the later claim that you can tackle the programme without hiccups.
Evidence and reflection
carried out a marketing survey for Black Airways
You name several projects for companies, but each sentence reports an outcome without explaining your role, what you did, or what you learned. Choosing one or two and reflecting on a decision, difficulty or insight would turn a list into evidence of thinking.
Relevant experience
has largely reinforced the interest in the fields of administration and coordination
NHS and Greggs roles are worthwhile evidence, but you link them to administration rather than marketing. Customer service could reveal useful observations about customer behaviour or service design. The claim that UK employment makes you highly placed to succeed is a forced link that the experience itself does not support.
Credibility and voice
completed a detailed strategic analysis for Faysal Bank in Lahore and revised most of its strategies
Phrasing like this risks overstating your authority; a student project rarely revises a bank's strategies. Clarify scope and role. Your refugee circumstances are important and sincerely told, but the Atif Mian detail occupies space that could connect your experience to your studies and ambitions.
Structure and format
I am cordially making an application for admission
The opening and the generic praise of a prestigious institution feel formulaic. Paragraphs jump between background, interest, projects and skills, and the background, employment and generic skill paragraphs repeat themselves. Name the course consistently and give a concrete reason for this programme, such as modules or teaching approach, rather than recreational facilities.
What you’ve done well
- Specific, named projects and a precise dissertation title give genuine material showing marketing and finance preparation.
- Your account of leaving Pakistan is direct and explains why you are studying in the UK.
How this draft could improve
- Expand one or two projects, especially the store design research, to show your role, method and what you learned.
- Replace generic claims about fast learning and fluent English with evidence, and cut repeated statements of the same point.
- State the exact course consistently and give programme-specific reasons for choosing it instead of general reputation.
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