General personal statement example in Word format (downloadable)

Reading time: 2 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 28th June 2019
Word count: 484 words
File format: Text

The most important factor in achieving success is attitude.

The housing estate I grew up on was recently dubbed one of the worst in Britain on BBC’s Panorama. Young men and women I grew up with, adorned with Adidas and chunky yellow-gold bracelets, loitered ominously in front of the cameras. “If you’re born in the gutter,” one man commented, “you stay in the gutter”.

I found this statement doubly offensive. Firstly, although it may be true that the area I grew up in can be described a concrete jungle with the occasional smattering of bogs, it is still the place where I grew up. Secondly, despite being of average intelligence, I have not found moving beyond the so-called gutter all that difficult.

The school I went to was a good school. Centred in one of the worst housing estates in Britain, it does not have the best grades in the country, or even some of them, but Government schemes which poured money into schools like mine obviously did some good. Of course, such schools attract lazy teachers too, the types who practically run the kids over to get home once the final bell has gone, but even they taught me something – not to be like them.

The best teachers in my school confirmed what I had long suspected, that with the right attitude, almost anything can be possible. Life may not be about what you know, often it can be about who you know, but this has never stopped me, nor will it.

I did everything I could at school: I was the first one there and the last one out. I helped the librarian, ran a Young Enterprise Scheme and set up a school council. Whilst on the council I successfully argued for an ‘open door’ policy which, to this day, prevents the routine eviction of a thousand pupils into the rain on stormy days. In my final year I convinced the headmaster to employ an Italian teacher so that interested pupils had a broader choice than French or Spanish. This initiative also lives on.

Whilst at school and six-form I built up a collection of role models, men and women who have triumphed in the face of adversity but who have done so with some humility. I never tire of watching archive clips of the late, great Peter Ustinov, with his remarkable intelligence and tireless wisdom, or Peter Sellers, as troubled as he was brilliant. Harold Pinter, although I disagree with his politics, is an oddly loveable curmudgeon, much like Dr David Starkey who, despite often being misunderstood, is obviously a man of deep integrity.

It sounds a little trite, perhaps, but life is short. I have the right attitude to make the best out of life: I think I would be an asset to your University and I hope, therefore, that you will be able to consider my application.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

Your statement has a confident voice and genuine school-based initiatives, but it never names a subject or explains what you want to study. The opening and closing rely on generic claims about attitude, and the role-model paragraph lists admiration without reflection. Your council and Italian-teacher achievements are your strongest material, but they need explicit links to an intended course.

Subject motivation

There is no stated course, discipline or academic interest anywhere in the statement. Readers cannot judge why you want to study a particular subject, so your motivation for university remains general ambition rather than intellectual curiosity. Even the Ustinov, Pinter and Starkey references are never tied to a field.

Academic preparation

despite being of average intelligence

You describe your intelligence but give no evidence of subjects studied, reading, projects or skills developed. Self-deprecation without counterbalancing academic detail leaves preparation invisible. Naming qualifications or a piece of independent study would show readiness for degree-level work.

Evidence and reflection

successfully argued for an ‘open door’ policy

This is concrete and outcome-focused, which is valuable. However, you do not explain how you built the argument, who you persuaded or what you learned about negotiation or institutions. Reflection on process would turn an achievement into evidence of thinking.

Relevant experience

convinced the headmaster to employ an Italian teacher

A strong, specific initiative showing persistence and impact. Its relevance depends on your intended course: it could support languages, education or policy, but without a named subject it reads as a general achievement. The librarian and Young Enterprise roles are only listed, not explored.

Credibility and voice

the types who practically run the kids over to get home

Your voice is distinctive, but dismissive remarks about teachers and peers risk seeming judgemental. Absolutes like I did everything I could and first one there and last one out feel exaggerated. A more measured tone would make your resilience more persuasive.

Structure and format

The most important factor in achieving success is attitude.

The aphoristic opening and closing frame the piece around attitude rather than study. The Panorama anecdote takes considerable space, while the role-model paragraph drifts. Reallocating that space to academic interests and reflection would give the statement clearer purpose and coherence.

What you’ve done well

The open-door policy and Italian-teacher initiatives are specific, lasting achievements showing initiative and persuasion.
Your Panorama opening provides a vivid, personal context and a confident individual voice.

How this draft could improve

Name your intended subject and explain, with concrete examples, what draws you to it intellectually.
Replace the role-model list with reflection on what you learned from your initiatives and how it prepares you for study.
Moderate dismissive comments about teachers and peers so your resilience reads as mature rather than defensive.

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General personal statement example