Free personal statement example to study English at University or College

Reading time: 2 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 28th June 2019
Word count: 528 words
File format: Text

“The best moments in reading are when you come across something — a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things — that you’d thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you’ve never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it’s as if a hand has come out and taken yours” (Bennett, 2004).

This is what I was aiming for with my personal statement. I wanted something which stood out, as if my hand were reaching out from within the page and taking yours. It’s what made me think of the Bennett quote. Try as I might, though, I’ve not been able to achieve this.

Personally I blame the guidance I’ve been given. Provide examples which will support your application, such as helping out at school open days. Reading through the list, I’ve done all these things, from Young Enterprise (going to meetings after spending all day at school) to the Duke of Edinburgh Award (standing in mud after spending all day at school). I also have a part-time job and play the violin, some more things I’m meant to write about, but it all strikes me as a bit dull. I read a few example personal statements online and a lot of them were really boring – everyone seems “fascinated” by English for some reason, but many of them are just like CVs with a narrative.

I would like to study English at University because I enjoy reading fiction. That sounds simple, perhaps, but expressed in any other way I end up sounding pretentious. It’s a cliché that books are portals to other worlds but it’s a cliché I’ll happily trot out because it’s fundamentally true. I’m not a big film watcher and my friends annoy me when they talk endlessly about soaps because, for me, there’s nothing parallel to a good book. Even a bad book is still infinitely better than Hollyoaks.

One of the reasons I enjoy reading it because I like being tricked. Take the quote from opening of this statement. These words are uttered by Hector, a teacher who molests his pupils. Typically vilified across society, no paedophiles garner public sympathy yet Bennett creates a predatory character whom the audience adore. The broader point is made that words aren’t just words: they are powerful. In addition to educating us, entertaining us and informing us, they can also persuade us, manipulate us, or trick us.

I also enjoy creative writing and I would like to develop these skills at University. I find that I’m heavily influenced by other authors but recognise I need to develop my own style. My favourite author is Donna Tartt because her work is crafted; however, whenever I’ve tried to emulate this I’ve not had much success and my work gets too wordy. My English Language tutor underlined all the adverbs in my last piece and it was a sea of red. I’m not the finished article, but this is another reason I want to study English at University, in order to develop these skills.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

This statement has a distinctive, candid voice and one genuinely strong piece of literary analysis: the reframing of the Bennett quotation through Hector. However, much of the space goes on rejecting conventional statements rather than demonstrating reading. Motivation remains broad, and the evidence base is thin beyond Bennett and Tartt.

Subject motivation

I would like to study English at University because I enjoy reading fiction.

Your honesty is refreshing, but enjoyment of fiction alone does not show what draws you to studying English academically. The portals cliché and the Hollyoaks comparison express preference rather than curiosity. Naming questions you want to explore, such as how texts manipulate readers, would deepen this.

Academic preparation

My English Language tutor underlined all the adverbs in my last piece

This shows you responding to feedback, which is useful, but there is little evidence of wider reading, critical approaches or coursework. Beyond Bennett and Tartt, the reader cannot gauge the range or depth of your study. One or two further texts discussed analytically would strengthen your preparation considerably.

Evidence and reflection

Bennett creates a predatory character whom the audience adore.

This is your best paragraph. Returning to the opening quote and complicating it shows real interpretive thinking about audience sympathy and the power of language. The conclusion that words can trick us is earned. Extending this method to another text would show the habit is sustained.

Relevant experience

I also have a part-time job and play the violin

You dismiss these activities as dull, but ordinary experiences can be excellent evidence if you reflect on them. Rejecting them wholesale wastes potential material. Your creative writing is the most relevant activity, yet it gets only brief treatment.

Credibility and voice

Personally I blame the guidance I’ve been given.

The voice is lively and self-aware, but blaming guidance and calling other statements boring risks seeming dismissive rather than original. The Hollyoaks and friends remarks may read as condescending. Your wit works best when it supports insight, as in the adverbs anecdote, rather than when it sneers.

Structure and format

Try as I might, though, I’ve not been able to achieve this.

The meta-commentary opening is a bold device, but it occupies two paragraphs before any substance appears. The ending repeats 'develop these skills' and stops abruptly without a conclusion. There are also slips, such as 'reading it because' and 'from opening'. Careful proofreading matters for an English applicant.

What you’ve done well

The Hector analysis turns your opening quotation into evidence of critical reading, showing that you can complicate a text rather than simply admire it.
The adverbs anecdote is specific, self-deprecating and shows you can accept and act on criticism of your writing.

How this draft could improve

Cut most of the commentary about guidance and other statements, and use the space for analysis of another text, applying the method you used with Bennett.
Make your motivation more precise by naming the questions about literature that you want to pursue at university.
Proofread for errors such as 'reading it because', and write a conclusion that draws the threads together rather than repeating 'develop these skills'.

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English personal statement example (1)