Medicine (Undergraduate) Personal Statement Example (8)

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Published: 3rd February 2022
Word count: 710 words
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I would like to study medicine at university as I believe it has all the aspects that I want in my education and future career. Medicine is a subject that you will never stop learning from as new research allows medical professionals to provide new and improved care for patients. With my experiences as a volunteer and at work experience I was able to see from a different perspective how fulfilling a career in medicine can be, as to be able to be with a patient during perhaps their most vulnerable times and helping them overcome it, can be a very rewarding experience.

To prepare myself for the course I have attended the UCL Summer Challenge: Medicine, which gave me a deeper understanding on the ethical dilemmas that doctors face on a daily basis and how they overcome them to make decisions. From this I learnt about the ‘4 pillars of ethics’ and how significant they are in helping a doctor make decisions on the treatment of a patient. This also gave me an opportunity to expand and develop my views on topics such as abortion and euthanasia and I was able to learn from my peers and how others might use the ‘4 pillars of ethics’ similarly or differently to me in scenarios.

I was fortunate to gain work experience at GP Direct and at Northwick Park Hospital, which showed me the vast range of roles a doctor can have in primary and secondary care settings and how they all work to the same end goal: to make sure that the patient receives the best and most effective treatment. At the GP I observed the interaction between doctors and patients and I noticed how compassionate and committed the staff were in ensuring the patients concerns were addressed to enable the right and most effective method of care. This showed me how doctors integrate the 6 C’s into their work. At the hospital I shadowed a consultant at the Ambulatory Emergency Care Unit while he was doing ward rounds. There was a patient who was in a state of confusion and was quite agitated and aggressive while the doctor was trying to take a blood sample, the doctor and nurses spoke clearly and comforted the patient to calm him down. This showed me how the doctors and nurses all work as a part of a multi-disciplinary team and how efficiently they communicate with each other in order to find the right method of care to make the patient comfortable and at ease.

In addition I volunteer at St.Mark’s Hospital and I have volunteered at Mount Vernon Cancer Centre. Both these experiences helped me to develop my communication skills as I was given the opportunity to talk to patients on the different ends of the process. Some were preparing for end of life care, while others were at the beginning stages of diagnosis and quite nervous and I was able to make them feel at ease while being compassionate and professional.

I am a subject rep for biology at my school, part of my role is to tutor students with topics they struggled with, this developed my patience and communication skills. During high school I was the captain of the netball team, which developed my leadership skills that I believe will be very useful in a career in medicine. There were certain times where I would have to take decisions to ensure that everyone worked as a team to help us to win the match. Sometimes such decisions would pay off and other times they wouldn’t. I believe these are useful skills as similarly in medicine there are going to be situations where a doctor would have to make a decision under pressure.

I believe that being a doctor and being able to be a part of patient’s journey and help them overcome their illness is very rewarding and the bond created between patient and doctor is very special. A career in medicine appeals to me as it links my love for learning and academics with being able to help people through some of their toughest times. My experiences have allowed me to gain and develop many skills that will be beneficial as a medical professional.

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Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

Your statement draws on a solid, relevant range of experience: a summer course, GP and hospital placements, and sustained volunteering. Its main weakness is that most episodes end in general conclusions about compassion, teamwork or communication rather than specific insights. Motivation stays abstract, and the academic side of medicine is barely explored. Deeper reflection on fewer moments would make it far more persuasive.

Subject motivation

I believe it has all the aspects that I want in my education

This opening is vague. Lifelong learning and the reward of helping vulnerable patients are reasonable motives, but most applicants could state them. You never show what first drew you to medicine, or what a particular experience made you want to pursue, so your motivation stays asserted rather than demonstrated.

Academic preparation

I learnt about the ‘4 pillars of ethics’

The UCL Summer Challenge is relevant, but you name the principles without applying them to a case or showing how your view of abortion or euthanasia changed. Your studies appear only through biology tutoring. There is no scientific interest, reading or problem you engaged with intellectually.

Evidence and reflection

the doctor and nurses spoke clearly and comforted the patient to calm him down

This is your most concrete moment and it is well chosen. However, your conclusion about multidisciplinary efficiency doesn't follow from what you describe. What specifically did they say or do? What did it teach you about consent, confusion or de-escalation? Reflection that tied directly to the scene would be far stronger.

Relevant experience

Some were preparing for end of life care, while others were at the beginning stages

Volunteering at two hospitals is valuable, ongoing evidence of commitment. Contrasting patients at the start and end of illness has real potential. You don't describe a single conversation, though, so the claim that you made patients feel at ease remains unsupported.

Credibility and voice

This showed me how doctors integrate the 6 C’s into their work

Dropping in a framework label reads like a checklist rather than your own observation. Phrases such as 'showed me' and 'developed my skills' recur often and flatten your voice. The netball admission that decisions sometimes didn't pay off feels honest, and that candour deserves development.

Structure and format

My experiences have allowed me to gain and develop many skills

The order is logical, moving from motivation to course, placements, volunteering, roles and conclusion. However, the conclusion largely repeats your opening. The netball link to pressured medical decisions feels forced without a concrete example. Trimming repeated summaries would free space for reflection.

What you’ve done well

The Ambulatory Emergency Care episode with the agitated, confused patient gives you a vivid, credible observation to build on.
You show sustained patient contact across GP, hospital and two volunteering settings, including end-of-life and newly diagnosed patients.

How this draft could improve

For each experience, replace general conclusions about compassion or teamwork with one specific action you saw or took and what it changed in your understanding.
Apply the four ethical principles to a real dilemma, and add evidence of scientific or academic curiosity about medicine.
Rewrite your opening and closing around a personal reason for choosing medicine, not generic statements about rewarding work.

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