Medicine personal statement example (5)

Reading time: 3 minutes
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Published: 11th October 2021
Word count: 829 words
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As a young child I went through many phases of dream jobs: from wanting to work at a farm park at four, to wanting to travel the world as a pilot at the age of seven, to wanting to become a doctor aged 14. My interest in science, predominantly of the intricate workings of the human body and its many complex processes that seem impossible (yet happen constantly within us), confirmed to me that my skills would best be applied to the career of medicine.

Having decided upon my career aspirations, I wished to gain a better insight into medicine and so I spent a week on a work experience placement in our local hospital. I gained more than I could possibly have hoped for from this placement: it allowed me to see the plethora of specialities within the career, of which I had only had the chance to research online previously. It isn’t every day that you get to see the removal of a gallbladder, inside an A&E department, or a doctor discussing a prognosis with a cancer patient. The experience was a real eye opener; it allowed me to experience first-hand the attitude required by doctors, the amount of understanding they have to show, and the relationships they have with their patients thus ensuring a high level of care. This ethos of care and responsibility drew me closer to the vocation – to be able to diagnose, to solve problems and make decisions, and to cure based on these.

To further develop my knowledge I have been fortunate to organise work experience with a GP during the October holidays. I am intrigued to see how a GP surgery runs and to be able to compare it to the hospital thus allowing me to see the whole pathway that is often taken during patient admissions to the infirmary. Being allowed the chance to shadow many great doctors urged me to prepare for my admissions tests, and brought me the success I wanted.

Although qualifications and academic experience are, of course, massively important in applying such a demanding and broad career, it also became clear to me that experience truly is as important as anything else when it comes to choosing to study medicine. Last year, I volunteered for a week on a pilgrimage to Lourdes which was organised for the elderly, sick and vulnerable parishioners within our parish. To enable me to participate I spent time fundraising but it was well worth the effort and I found it to be extremely enjoyable and rewarding. This experience played a huge part in showing me the career satisfaction to be found in medicine; it allowed me to take pride in listening to and helping many people; pushing these people great distances in wheelchairs was not a burden but a reward. The notion of being able to do this not just for two weeks, but every day in a job is exciting and hugely motivates me.

This summer I volunteered in Spain, teaching English to Spanish students. This involved talking one-to-one with Spaniards for up to five hours each day. During my time in Spain I gained valuable communication skills, I learned compassion and patience for those who perhaps could not understand my Dumfriesshire accent, and I thoroughly enjoyed speaking with those whose culture differs from my own.

Outside school I also partake in many other activities that allow me to gain new and valuable skills. Two such examples include the Duke of Edinburgh’s Gold Award and the Boys’ Brigade Queens Badge (having already received the President’s Badge). These allow me to communicate and work in a team and to exercise leadership whilst having fun.

Each weekend I referee youth and men’s football, requiring strong leadership and the ability to listen to those more senior than myself in order to learn. The skills I have gained in leading those around me in a team whilst being open to everyone else’s ideas will in the future benefit me in the medical workplace, where the integrity of the team can be the difference between life or death for a patient.

For many years I have been musical and have completed my piano Grade 8, I have been the organ scholar for three years at a local church, and exercise my skills all over Dumfries, allowing me to use my musical talents for the benefit of others and is relaxing and enjoyable at the same time. When speaking to medical students in their fourth and fifth years respectively during my work experience, I really aspired to be in their position; I look forward not only to the later clinical aspects of medical school, but to the first few years they described to me of gaining the non-clinical experience and knowledge that is essential for clinical contact. I’ve learned through interest and experience that the route I want to follow is the career of medicine – a career of life-long learning.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

Your statement shows genuine enthusiasm and a good range of caring and leadership experience, especially Lourdes and refereeing. However, medical motivation rests largely on what you saw rather than what you understood, academic preparation is almost absent, and several paragraphs list activities with generic skill claims. Deeper reflection on specific moments would make this far more persuasive.

Subject motivation

the intricate workings of the human body and its many complex processes

This expresses real interest, but it stays abstract. You never name a process, topic or question that fascinated you, so the claim that science confirmed medicine as your career feels asserted. The childhood dream-jobs opening also uses space without revealing why medicine specifically appealed.

Academic preparation

brought me the success I wanted

This is the only academic reference, and it is vague about admissions tests. You mention no subjects, reading, coursework or scientific curiosity pursued independently. Even one concrete example of engaging with biology or chemistry beyond the syllabus would show readiness for demanding study.

Evidence and reflection

pushing these people great distances in wheelchairs was not a burden but a reward

This is your most honest, personal reflection, linking practical care to job satisfaction. Elsewhere, such as the hospital placement, you list impressive sights without describing one interaction and what it taught you about doctors' communication or decision-making, so reflection remains general.

Relevant experience

a doctor discussing a prognosis with a cancer patient

Hospital shadowing, Lourdes volunteering, teaching English and refereeing are all valid evidence. The prognosis conversation could be powerful if you explained what the doctor did and how it changed your view. The GP placement is still upcoming, so its value is anticipated rather than demonstrated.

Credibility and voice

those who perhaps could not understand my Dumfriesshire accent

Small, specific details like this give your writing warmth and personality. Phrases such as gaining more than you could possibly have hoped and repeated valuable skills feel generic. Note too that Lourdes is described as a week, then two weeks, an inconsistency worth correcting.

Structure and format

Outside school I also partake in many other activities

The progression from motivation to experience works, but later paragraphs become a list of awards and hobbies. The conclusion is awkwardly merged into the music paragraph, and the medical students reflection deserves its own space. Grouping activities by what they taught you would improve coherence.

What you’ve done well

The Lourdes paragraph gives a sincere, specific sense of finding satisfaction in physical, everyday care for vulnerable people.
Refereeing is a well-chosen ordinary experience, tied to listening to others and teamwork in clinical settings.

How this draft could improve

Replace the list of hospital sights with one observed interaction, explaining what you noticed and what it taught you about being a doctor.
Add a short academic section showing a specific scientific interest you have explored and why it matters to you.
Trim generic skill phrases in the Duke of Edinburgh and music paragraphs, and give the conclusion its own focused paragraph.

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