Architecture personal statement (5)

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Published: 6th June 2021
Word count: 820 words
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Personal Statement : Sxxxxx Mxx Bxxxxxxx

12th June 2019

A Pencil, a ruler and a rubber were the essential tools I used when I was younger to draw and design things. I’ve always enjoyed designing at an early age, so it was given that I would pursue a career in design. When I turned eleven, it was then when I discovered my interest for architecture. The ability of architecture to fuse both exquisite and methodological competences enable the human life to flourish. I have the desire to make the world a more sustainable, eco-friendly and simply a better place for everyone to live in, therefore pursuing a career as an architect is the greatest influence.

My interest in architecture grew bigger when a concept of an abstract architectural structure can be inspired by something so simple. As being a committed art student, I rarely lack creativity just like architecture itself. It is based around inventive ideas, aesthetics and innovation, and due to my likeness in art, it has allowed me to see the beauty in the design of architectural structures. This is an intuition into the principles of ingenuity and creativity. I was lucky enough to have participated in an architecture workshop by Accelerate in collaboration with UCL. I got mentored by Grimshaw Architects, in which I obtained quite a few skills and built an array of knowledge during my time with them. One of the few things I learned was how to attract people back to a space using architectural structures. This has demonstrated that by adding something as simple as greenery to an area, it can breathe life back into it and entice people again. Furthermore, as a group from the architecture workshop, we visited sites e.g. Coal Drops Yard and UAL Central St Martins Campus, and we did site-sketches whilst gaining an understanding of the history of both sites. This has showed me that the history of a building can tell us about the process of designing structures and the craftsman workmanship behind them, it almost tells a story.

Along with the elegant side to architecture, I have also fathomed the logical side of it. As I have partaken in a technology workshop set up by GirlsTalk, I was able to be mentored by someone who expertise in this sector. Despite the fact that this workshop was based about technology, I was attracted to the idea of integrating technology and architecture together. This will make future homes or buildings much smarter and functional. The future is relying on design innovation, perhaps bringing solutions that will improve our local environment as well as globally. Thus, architecture becomes more significant as the need for sustainability grows, the role of buildings should become more eco-friendly to help the environment in the upcoming future. Nonetheless, with time to spare, I volunteer at my local charity shop named LittleLives UK. By volunteering, I have learnt how to be more confident and comfortable in my own voice as this has given me the ability to properly communicate with others. This is important because when doing group works it exhibits that I am capable of listening to others’ input, and the potential to compromise when there is a disagreement, this also highlights team-work. This is a quality skill to have, as the capability to compromise with a customer is an important role an architect needs to meet, because they both have to work together to get a clear picture of what the customer desires and what the architect can do to meet those wants.

To conclude, designing has always been something that I have been fascinated about, and I have narrowed it down to architecture. There is something about the relationship between nature and buildings that sparks my interest in architecture, but also my passion in designing people their dream homes as well as making it sustainable. Due to my interest in architecture, I would like to pursue this by attending higher education because I aspire to become an architect. I have a deep inquisitiveness in striving for this career as I know it is something I will love doing, as a hobby and as a profession. I am a hard-working, creative and innovative individual, I am keen to keep on improving and I will do whatever it takes to become better as an individual. I deserve a place because firstly, architecture is a course that fits my interests and abilities completely and secondly, I have the impulse to learn and do well, as I am competitive but in the sense of competing with myself, bettering myself each step of the way.

Dreams are the stepping stones for triumph, however only one can assemble success with innovation and wisdom. So, what is a more desirable way to share my eagerness for architecture than to help make those dreams of others come true? All in all, “An architect is the drawer of dreams” ~Grace McGarvie

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

Your statement shows genuine early enthusiasm and two useful architecture-related experiences, especially the Grimshaw-mentored workshop and site visits. It is weakened by generic claims, limited reflection on specific design observations, little mention of academic study or your own portfolio work, and forced links such as charity-shop customers to architectural clients. Concentrating on fewer experiences in more depth would strengthen it considerably.

Subject motivation

When I turned eleven, it was then when I discovered my interest for architecture.

You mark a starting point but never say what happened at eleven or which building, project or idea caught your attention. Phrases such as "exquisite and methodological competences" sound abstract. A concrete moment would make your motivation believable and specific to you rather than to design in general.

Academic preparation

As being a committed art student, I rarely lack creativity

Art is relevant, but you do not describe any piece of work, technique, drawing method or project. There is no mention of maths, physics, history or your own reading. Showing what you have made and studied would demonstrate preparation more convincingly than asserting creativity.

Evidence and reflection

by adding something as simple as greenery to an area, it can breathe life back into it

This is your most promising insight, but it stays general. Which space did you analyse, what did you propose, and what did the Grimshaw mentors challenge? Similarly, the Coal Drops Yard sketches could lead to a specific observation about reuse of industrial structures rather than "it almost tells a story."

Relevant experience

I got mentored by Grimshaw Architects, in which I obtained quite a few skills

The workshop and site visits are strong, relevant material, but "quite a few skills" and "an array of knowledge" hide the detail. The GirlsTalk workshop is linked to smart buildings only vaguely, and the charity-shop paragraph stretches teamwork into architect-client compromise without a concrete example.

Credibility and voice

I deserve a place because firstly, architecture is a course that fits

Claiming you deserve a place, and listing yourself as "hard-working, creative and innovative," tends to undercut credibility. Readers trust qualities they can see in evidence. Your genuine voice comes through more clearly in describing site-sketching than in these self-assessments and the closing aphorism.

Structure and format

Thus, architecture becomes more significant as the need for sustainability grows

The order moves from early interest to experiences to conclusion, which is sensible. However, sustainability is restated several times without development. The final two paragraphs repeat the opening, and the borrowed quotation ending feels tacked on. Grammatical slips such as "someone who expertise" also need careful proofreading.

What you’ve done well

The UCL/Accelerate workshop with Grimshaw mentoring and site visits to Coal Drops Yard and Central St Martins gives you concrete, relevant architectural exposure.
Your interest in greenery reviving public spaces and in the relationship between nature and buildings is a coherent thread worth developing.

How this draft could improve

Replace general skill claims with one or two detailed examples: what you designed or sketched at the workshop, what feedback you received, and how it changed your thinking.
Add evidence from your own art or design work and any architectural reading or buildings you have studied, explaining specific observations.
Cut the self-praise, the "I deserve a place" sentence and the closing quotation, and use the space to deepen your reflection on sustainability with a specific example.

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