Free History/Ancient history personal statement example (1)

Reading time: 3 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 1st July 2019
Word count: 661 words
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Inside and outside of school I have always enjoyed history because it allows me the opportunity to immerse myself in different ideologies and cultures. As my history studies have progressed I have gained an increasing interest in modern History, particularly that of the 20th century. For example, my interest in the First World War was fully recognised in 5th form when I went on a battlefields trip as it enabled me to engage with history on a more personal level.

Going to post-war locations, such as the Canadian National Vimy Memorial, allowed me to fully connect with the events, really putting into context the fatalities of the Great War. I would like to study Ancient History as well as History, the two of them combined complement each other perfectly, particularly in regards to one of my passions, social history. Moreover, studying Classical Civilisation for GCSE undoubtedly sparked my interest in the subject. The ways in which early civilisations are mirrored in today’s world makes reading around the subject so interesting.

The study of Ancient History excites me because it is interesting to link modern day tendencies with the ancient world. For example, I found the topic of Spartan women in my GCSE syllabus very intriguing. This led me to read “Spartan women” by Sarah B. Pomeroy which provided a very different view of how women have been treated across history. For example, in Spartan civilisation, women were famous in ancient Greece for having more freedom than anywhere else in the ancient world. To contemporaries outside of Sparta, Spartan women had a reputation for controlling their husbands and being a leading figure in the family. This is not only surprising due to other normalities at the time, but it is also surprising as women didn’t have much control in the family until much later in history.

This social example of history is a perfect example of how we can link the past to the future. In addition, “The Odyssey” by Homer, sparked more of a mythological interest. The Odyssey is based on oral history which is still very prominent in modern history, especially 19th century. So it is interesting to link the two eras together. It is interesting to read these sources which have been passed down the generations orally because it requires a much more careful when interpreting them.

History holds a unifying thread to one of my other A-levels, French. The discussion and research during my French lessons of Edmond Rostand’s ‘Cyrano de Bergerac’ has increased my knowledge and interest of French historical culture. This had undoubtedly lead to my interest in French Prime Minister in World War One, Georges Clemenceau. He is such an admirable figure due to his control and strategic planning whilst passing the Treaty of Versailles on 28 June 1919 and the First World War for France. The idea of one individual being so dominant in leading a country through a difficult period of time inevitably sparked my interest in political history.

Outside the classroom, I enjoy participating in many activities, both for pleasure and to keep fit. I have captained my school’s first eleven at cricket, as well as representing the first team for squash and football. Consequently, I look forward to getting involved in all aspects of university life. I have also helped as a teaching assistant at the Victoria Education Center, an outstanding special school in my local area. Here I helped individual students learn Chemistry, PE and English. Helping people my age at other schools has assisted me to work better in a group environment and has encouraged me to become a leader in any situation.

I believe I am suited to study History and Ancient history at university because I have a keen interest in research and broadening my knowledge. In addition, I believe that history is always leading us into new areas of investigation and I am excited to expand these areas of interest at a degree level.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

Your statement shows genuine enthusiasm across modern and ancient history, with useful starting points in the Vimy visit, Pomeroy and Clemenceau. Its main weakness is that these examples are described rather than analysed: claims such as links between Spartan women and today, or oral history and the nineteenth century, are asserted without careful reasoning. Tighter argument and fewer repeated phrases would strengthen it considerably.

Subject motivation

I would like to study Ancient History as well as History

You state the joint interest clearly, but the justification that the two 'complement each other perfectly' through social history is never shown. Explaining one specific question that needs both ancient and modern perspectives would make your motivation for this combination convincing rather than declared.

Academic preparation

This led me to read “Spartan women” by Sarah B. Pomeroy

Following a GCSE topic into Pomeroy is good independent reading. However, you summarise her content instead of engaging with her argument or evidence. Noting what sources she uses, or a point you questioned, would demonstrate the analytical preparation the course expects.

Evidence and reflection

it requires a much more careful when interpreting them

This is your most promising historiographical idea, about interpreting oral sources, but it is left undeveloped and the sentence is incomplete. The link between Homer and nineteenth-century oral history is unclear. Reflect on why oral transmission complicates evidence and how a historian handles that.

Relevant experience

Going to post-war locations, such as the Canadian National Vimy Memorial

The battlefields trip is legitimate evidence, yet 'fully connect' and 'putting into context' stay general. Saying what you saw or learned there about memory, commemoration or scale would turn the visit into reflection. The French and Cyrano link to Clemenceau feels forced without explanation.

Credibility and voice

He is such an admirable figure due to his control

Your admiration is sincere, but praising Clemenceau for 'passing' the Treaty of Versailles is historically imprecise and uncritical; Versailles was negotiated and signed, and his role was contested. A more balanced judgement would read as more mature. Repetition of 'interesting' and 'undoubtedly' also flattens your voice.

Structure and format

Consequently, I look forward to getting involved in all aspects of university life.

Paragraphs follow a sensible order, but some transitions are abrupt, such as Ancient History appearing mid-paragraph on Vimy. 'Consequently' does not follow from sport. The teaching assistant section claims leadership without showing how. The conclusion restates interest generically rather than drawing your threads together.

What you’ve done well

You give named, checkable starting points across periods: Vimy, Pomeroy, the Odyssey and Clemenceau.
Your reading grows naturally from GCSE Classical Civilisation, showing curiosity that extends beyond the syllabus.

How this draft could improve

Choose two examples and analyse them, for example evaluating Pomeroy's evidence on Spartan women, rather than briefly summarising several.
Cut repeated words such as 'interesting', 'perfect' and 'undoubtedly', and fix grammatical slips like 'had undoubtedly lead'.
Make sure historical claims, like Clemenceau and Versailles, are precise, and explain links instead of asserting them.

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History/Ancient history personal statement example (1)