Medicine personal statement (1)

Reading time: 2 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 13th September 2019
Word count: 571 words
File format: Text

My motivation to study medicine is due to my desire to become a person who can help those in need in urgent situations. Furthermore, studying science, particularly biology and chemistry, fulfils my eagerness to know the mechanism and explanation to life, especially our bodies. Although I know that studying and practicing medicine is extremely hard and full of pressure , I am strongly convinced by myself that this is the pathway I would like to pursue.

I decide to study medicine in UK is because of my experience in studying A-level here. During time here, my ability to think in many aspect and communication skills improved a lot, as teachers constantly ask questions in class and have discussion with students. Furthermore, teachers pay great patience in taking care of those who are fallen behind. This style of teaching in UK convinced me that this is the right choice and will build up all the essential abilities in me for being a medical practitioner.

As an international student studying miles away from home, I have learned to be independent and resilient. Facing not only academic pressure but also difficulty to communicate with people from different countries with vary cultural backgrounds made me struggled in the beginning. However, I made good friends and gain support networks eventually, which helped me overcome study problems and lead to a successful results. Although the studies are still stressful, I still manage to do some extracurricular activities. I jog around the campus four times a week and I play football and table tennis with friends once a week. These events help me relieve my tensed mind and can carry on my studies with a stronger mind power and positive mood.

In addition to A-level subjects, I also participated in Biology Olympiad, which result in bronze medal, and Physics Olympiad, ending up with a silver medal. Being a student who studies subjects in Chinese, I had to take lots of time to translate my known knowledge into English. During the process, I analysed my time and made an intense study plan to follow.

By managing my time wisely and persisting to the end, I made huge progress in my knowledge and had a satisfying grades.Moreover, I also did an abortion presentation in medical ethic class. After researching and working with the group, I realised that practising medicine can have lots of aspect to consider, such as religious thoughts and whose decision, and have a variety of cases among different patients. Listening and communicating with respect are key roles in medicine.

I also joined medical discussion group, which is a held by students and can share our thoughts about medical news, and participated in master courses, a surgical workshop. Reading medical books, such as ‘’ Do No Harm’’, in my free time also enhance my desire for medical knowledge and study medicine.

At the beginning of my second term, I volunteered to welcome January A-level students and made great effort to show my friendliness. They were greatly cheered up when I tried to communicate with them in their own languages. I was able to empathise with the new students as I was in the same situation a few months before them. As a result, I know the insecurity for being in a new environment that is far away from home and most importantly, being alone.

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Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

Your statement shows real promise in moments: the ethics presentation, welcoming January students, and adapting to study in English. However, motivation stays general, medical exposure is listed rather than explored, and there is no clinical or caring experience discussed. Frequent grammatical errors weaken credibility, and the ending stops without a conclusion tying your evidence back to medicine.

Subject motivation

my desire to become a person who can help those in need

This opening is sincere but generic; helping people urgently and curiosity about bodies apply to many careers. You never show a moment, question or observation that made medicine specifically compelling, so the reader cannot see what drew you beyond broad interest in biology and chemistry.

Academic preparation

Biology Olympiad, which result in bronze medal, and Physics Olympiad

Olympiad medals suggest strong scientific ability, but you give no sense of what you studied, which problem challenged you, or how it deepened interest in medicine. The paragraph shifts quickly to translation and time management, leaving the academic substance unexplored.

Evidence and reflection

practising medicine can have lots of aspect to consider, such as religious thoughts

The abortion presentation is your clearest reflective moment, touching autonomy and belief. It would be stronger if you named one specific tension you encountered and explained how it changed your thinking, rather than ending with the general claim about listening and respect.

Relevant experience

participated in master courses, a surgical workshop

The discussion group, workshop and reading Do No Harm are mentioned in one sentence each with no detail. There is no account of healthcare settings, patient contact or caring roles, a notable gap for medicine. Pick one item and say what you learned.

Credibility and voice

They were greatly cheered up when I tried to communicate with them

The welcoming volunteering feels genuinely personal, linking your own isolation to empathy for others. Elsewhere, phrases like strongly convinced by myself and stronger mind power, plus many grammatical slips, undercut your authority. Careful proofreading would let your authentic voice come through.

Structure and format

most importantly, being alone.

The statement ends abruptly on loneliness rather than drawing threads together. A whole paragraph justifies studying in the UK through A-level teaching style, which says little about medicine. The Olympiad paragraph splits awkwardly mid-thought, and the final link line is site text, not part of your writing.

What you’ve done well

The January students example connects your own experience of isolation to empathy in a specific, believable way.
The medical ethics presentation shows awareness that medicine involves values and patient choice, not only science.

How this draft could improve

Replace the UK teaching paragraph with a developed account of one medical experience, such as the surgical workshop or Do No Harm, explaining what it taught you about doctors' work.
Write a concluding paragraph that links your resilience, empathy and scientific interest back to why you want to practise medicine.
Proofread thoroughly for tense, articles and agreement errors, ideally with a careful reader, since accuracy affects how your maturity is perceived.

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