- Reading time: 3 minutes
- Price: Free download
- Published: 28th June 2019
- Word count: 746 words
- File format: Text
Growing up, I’ve always been close to my family — my aunts, uncles, and cousins. They are the first people I consult about my problems, and they’re always ready to help me when I need them, as I am whenever they need me.
One day, I discovered my uncle was an alcoholic. I denied this was true until I spoke to my cousin. She admitted that it was, and told me everything she’d been experiencing —sleepless nights, her parents fighting, and comforting her crying younger sister. This resulted in the involvement of the Children’s Aid Society. At first, I was unaware of the impact that social workers make until they helped my cousin. They opened the cage her family was trapped in. From this experience, I was inspired to open the cage for families like social workers did for mine.
I want to eradicate and help with hardships that families encounter. My cousin is not the only person to experience something so alarming. I began my research on social workers; their roles, their duties, and the challenges they faced. As I learned about the roles of a social worker, I became more determined in becoming one. It is important for social workers to contribute to the betterment of society by supporting individuals in need, resulting in a positive change.
Through research, I understood that I must obtain a Bachelor of Social Work to start my career. I consider myself an ideal student for your program as I am able to surpass your academic requirements. Furthermore, I have experience working as a part-time sales associate at Rockport. As a sales associate, I’ve developed effective communication skills by interacting with customers. I’ve accumulated organizational, listening, and critical thinking skills. For example, I had a conflict with a customer who demanded a return because they were displeased with their purchase. Our policy states that returns are permitted within 60 days of purchase, and it had been more than 60 days. To resolve this issue, I gave the customer a coupon to compensate and ensure their return to our store. I used my thinking skills to stop this issue from escalating. It is imperative for a social worker to use critical thinking skills to determine the most effective solution when dealing with problems.
In addition to my involvement in my community, I have also been involved in school. I’ve been a part of the Girls Rugby team, and a co-manager for the Ultimate Frisbee team. Being on the rugby team has given me the opportunity to enhance my cooperation and teamwork skills. My involvement as a manager taught me to be punctual and on top of things. One of my roles as a manager was to ensure the players were present and ready to play. I can easily transfer these skills into social work as you work alongside many individuals and groups such as police officers and support groups. Due to hard work and dedication, I was able to balance my extracurriculars with my school work. As a result, I received the honour roll, in grade 11 for achieving an overall average of 83%, which reflected my hard work.
This year, I have taken many social science courses to further my knowledge in the field of social work. Criminology teaches me useful theories and research methods that would help me identify issues I may encounter in social work. For example, the social strain theory believes that the lower class set middle-class goals, but don’t have means to achieve them, which results in the frustration and deviant acts. As a social worker, I would provide individuals with opportunities to help achieve their goals. In result, this will help them feel accomplished and improve their lifestyle.
Social workers strive to continuously expand their knowledge. They are able to effectively apply their new-found knowledge, as well as previous experiences to real-life conflicts that people undergo. I believe my passion towards this career will push me on the road to success and allow me to excel at Ryerson’s program immensely.
As said by Steve Jobs:
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do”.
This is a quote that I cherish, as it represents the way I want to live my life; with ambition.
13th November 2017
Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve
Your statement has a sincere, clear motivation rooted in your cousin's experience, and you name a specific programme. It is weakened by generic skill claims, little reflection on what social workers actually did, forced links from retail and sport, and a borrowed-quote ending. Your criminology paragraph shows promise but simplifies strain theory and social work's role.
Subject motivation
At first, I was unaware of the impact that social workers make
The family experience gives genuine motivation, but you never say what the social workers did. The cage metaphor replaces detail. Explaining one concrete action you observed or learned about would show you understand the profession, not just its outcome.
Academic preparation
the social strain theory believes that the lower class set middle-class goals
Naming a theory from your criminology course is useful evidence. However, theories do not 'believe', and your follow-up assumes a social worker simply provides opportunities. Show how the theory changed your thinking about structural causes, and mention what research methods you actually practised.
Evidence and reflection
I began my research on social workers; their roles, their duties
You state that you researched the role but share nothing you found, such as a challenge, ethical tension or setting. Without specifics, the claim that you became 'more determined' cannot convince. One real finding and your response to it would demonstrate reflection.
Relevant experience
I gave the customer a coupon to compensate and ensure their return
Retail work can be strong evidence, but this example shows a sales tactic rather than listening or judgement relevant to clients. Reflecting on handling someone's frustration, and the limits of policy, would link better. The rugby and frisbee paragraph lists skills without examples.
Credibility and voice
I want to eradicate and help with hardships that families encounter
'Eradicate' overstates what one practitioner can do. Elsewhere phrases like 'ideal student' and 'excel immensely' sound like assertion rather than evidence. Your personal voice is strongest in the cousin paragraph. Keep that honesty and let examples carry your claims.
Structure and format
This is a quote that I cherish, as it represents
The chronological structure is clear, but paragraphs repeat a pattern of claiming a skill, then saying it transfers. The Steve Jobs quote ends on someone else's words, unrelated to social work. A conclusion drawn from your own experience would be stronger.
What you’ve done well
- You give a specific, personal origin for your interest in social work and connect it to the Children's Aid Society's involvement.
- You attempt to apply course content, using social strain theory, to practice, which shows initial academic engagement.
How this draft could improve
- Replace general skill claims (communication, critical thinking, punctuality) with one or two moments where you listened, supported or reflected, and say what you learned.
- Add specific findings from your research into social work, including a challenge of the role, to show informed rather than idealised motivation.
- Cut the quotation and end with your own summary of why Ryerson's programme fits what you want to learn.