Nutritional and health sciences personal statement

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Price: Free download
Published: 19th July 2019
Word count: 572 words
File format: Text

According to the United States, there are approximately 678,000 deaths each year because of unhealthy eating diet. Health related problems are one of the major concerns in this 21st century. Health is an issue which will affect not only the individual but also the community. One of the main factors of maintaining an optimum positive health is the food consumption. Lack of nutritional foods will lead to nutrient deficiency diseases. Therefore, individuals will seek for nutritional advice to maintain a healthy lifestyle. The Master program in School of Nutrition and Health Sciences focuses on a variety of areas of nutrition and its relationship to human health and growth in both healthy and non-healthy individuals.

My name is Kxxxxxx Wxx, I am a Bachelor degree holder in Science, majoring in Food Science and Technology. Throughout my studies in Monash University Malaysia, I had learned the skills, concepts and principles of food science and technology. These includes regional food culture, industrial application of food science and technology, types of food materials and manufacturing process. I also studied the qualitative and quantitative analytical skills of foods, laboratory research technique, quality control in food science and technology and food processing. I am an active and enthusiastic student and I am looking forward to join the Master programme in Nutrition and Health Sciences at Taipei Medical University. A Master’s degree in Nutrition and Health Sciences will provide me with diverse career opportunities and allow me to practice nutrition in various areas. This includes public or private health care industry, health administration in governmental and non-governmental organization or institution, research and academia. Furthermore, the master degree in Nutrition and Health Sciences will strengthen my research skills abilities and will pave my way to gain my PhD degree in a similar field later. I have a strong interest in conducting research that are relevant to human health, nutrition and the association between human health and metabolism and diabetics.

My interest in Nutrition and Health Sciences started through my readings in this field. I found myself interested in nutrition and the impact of food on health. This major will be of utmost priority as I have already planned my career path. I am quite assured that Taipei Medical University is where my academic dreams will come true. Due to the increase in awareness of food nutrition and consumption and its direct effect towards human body, professional whom are specialized in nutrition and health sciences are highly needed in hope for a healthier society. Therefore, it is my ambition to educate and contribute my humble expertise to the society with the knowledge gained from the Taipei Medical University.

I am interested in Taipei Medical University because it is portrayed as a diverse university which is a home for international students. Taipei Medical University is also known for its great research resources and experienced faculty members. I am confident that I am equipped with the necessary requirements and qualifications to pursue my masters in Nutrition and Health sciences with flying colours. As an international student, it is of no doubt that the level of adaptation with the local culture is vital, but with sheer determination and perseverance, I am adamant that persistence is the key to success. With all my respect, I am hoping that the Admissions Committee finds my credentials suitable in this respect and guide me on the right path. I am looking forward to your humble reply. Thank you.

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

This is a postgraduate statement for a Nutrition and Health Sciences Master's at Taipei Medical University, built on a relevant food science degree. Its main weakness is generality: the motivation rests on unspecified reading, the coursework is listed rather than reflected on, and the claims about the university's resources and your own readiness lack concrete support. The research interest in metabolism and diabetes is promising but undeveloped.

Subject motivation

My interest in Nutrition and Health Sciences started through my readings in this field.

This is the key motivational claim, but no reading, author, question or finding is named. The opening statistics about deaths and health are broad context rather than personal motivation. Identifying one specific text or problem that shifted your interest from food science toward human nutrition would make the motivation credible.

Academic preparation

I also studied the qualitative and quantitative analytical skills of foods, laboratory research technique

Your Food Science and Technology degree is clearly relevant, and analytical and laboratory training suits a research Master's. However, the modules are listed without any project, method or result. Naming a specific analysis you performed, or a dissertation topic, would show the depth of your preparation.

Evidence and reflection

association between human health and metabolism and diabetics

This research interest is the most distinctive point in the draft, but it appears once and is never explored. You do not explain what draws you to diabetes or metabolism, or what you have learned about it. Also check the wording: "diabetics" likely should be "diabetes".

Relevant experience

The statement gives no practical experience beyond coursework: no lab project, internship, industry work or volunteering. Even modest experience, such as a quality-control task or a nutrition-related assignment, described with what you learned from it, would substantiate your career and research aims.

Credibility and voice

I am confident that I am equipped with the necessary requirements and qualifications

Assertions like this, along with "with flying colours" and "academic dreams will come true", read as unsupported confidence rather than evidence. The university fit relies on general reputation ("great research resources") without naming faculty, labs or modules. Specific references would sound more genuine.

Structure and format

According to the United States, there are approximately 678,000 deaths

The opening attributes the statistic to a country rather than a source and does not connect to you. Self-introduction by name mid-statement and the letter-style closing feel out of place. Some ideas repeat across paragraphs, and grammar slips such as "These includes" and "whom are" need correcting.

What you’ve done well

Your undergraduate degree in Food Science and Technology provides a coherent academic foundation for a nutrition Master's.
You state a clear direction toward research and a possible PhD, with an identified interest in metabolism and diabetes.

How this draft could improve

Replace the generic opening statistics with the specific reading, module or problem that drew you to nutrition and health, and explain why.
Develop the metabolism and diabetes interest with concrete evidence from your studies, and link it to named research groups or courses at Taipei Medical University.
Cut unsupported self-assessments and the letter-style closing, then proofread for grammar such as "These includes" and "whom are".

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