- Reading time: 3 minutes
- Price: Free download
- Published: 16th September 2026
- Word count: 606 words
- File format: Text
Personal statement example
My interest in commercial law began with a problem question about a delivery of the wrong grade of timber, and it has kept its hold because the subject is mostly about ordinary disputes of that kind. In my LLB, contract and company law were the modules where I worked hardest and did best, and both left me wanting more detail than a three-year degree can give. A master's is the sensible next step: I want to study sale of goods, security interests, agency and international trade properly, rather than in the compressed form a general syllabus allows.
My dissertation looked at how the rule against penalty clauses affects small business contracts. I read the Cavendish Square Holding v Talal El Makdessi judgment closely, along with commentary on the shift towards asking whether a clause protects a legitimate interest and whether the remedy is out of all proportion to it. What interested me was the gap between the doctrine and practice: many small suppliers use fixed charges for late collection or cancellation without any clear sense of whether they would be enforceable, and the cost of finding out is far higher than the sums in dispute. Writing the chapter on standard form terms taught me to be careful with my own claims, since it is easy to argue that a rule is unworkable without evidence of how often it actually bites. My supervisor pushed me to narrow the argument to two sectors, and the work was much better for it.
Alongside my degree I have worked weekends on the customer service desk of a hardware and garden store, which is where most of my practical understanding of commercial relationships comes from. I deal with returns, warranty questions and complaints about deliveries, and I have had to explain to customers, calmly and repeatedly, what the store will do and why. It has made me notice how much of consumer and commercial protection depends on whether anyone at the counter knows the policy, and how quickly a reasonable person becomes unreasonable when they feel they have been dismissed. I also learned to read our supplier paperwork out of curiosity: the delivery notes and the terms printed on the back of them are the first primary sources I ever handled.
For two years I was treasurer of my university's board games society, which had about ninety members and a small but real budget. I rebuilt the accounts into a single spreadsheet, chased the union for a room booking refund that had been overlooked, and put together the annual grant application. We finished my second year with a surplus for the first time in several years, which allowed the society to buy replacement copies of games that had been played to pieces. It was modest, but it taught me that financial records are useful only if someone else can follow them, a lesson I expect to matter in company and insolvency work. I also volunteer at a community advice drop-in, taking initial details from visitors before they see an adviser, where accuracy and confidentiality are the whole job.
I am particularly keen to study secured transactions and international sales, areas I met only briefly as an undergraduate and which seem to sit at the centre of how businesses actually raise money and move goods. I would like eventually to qualify and work in commercial practice, most likely advising smaller companies, where clear advice about routine contracts makes a practical difference. A master's would give me the depth, the research discipline and the comparative perspective I currently lack, and I am ready for the reading it demands.
Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve
This is a grounded, credible statement for a taught commercial law master's. Your dissertation paragraph shows real method and self-correction, and your store work is used intelligently rather than inflated. The main gaps are that your dissertation's actual conclusion is missing, the closing aims stay general, and the society paragraph stretches its link to insolvency work.
Subject motivation
began with a problem question about a delivery of the wrong grade of timber
This opening works because it is modest and specific, and you explain why the interest lasted: commercial law deals with ordinary disputes. It avoids grand claims. Your motivation would be stronger if you said what about that timber problem, such as implied terms or remedies, first caught your attention.
Academic preparation
contract and company law were the modules where I worked hardest and did best
This is plausible LLB preparation, and the named target areas show that you understand the field. However, "did best" is vague. You could briefly say what you studied in these modules, or what an assessment taught you, so that your readiness is demonstrated rather than asserted.
Evidence and reflection
it is easy to argue that a rule is unworkable without evidence of how often it actually bites
This is genuine methodological reflection. You recognise a limit in your own argument, and you show how narrowing to two sectors improved the work. What is missing is your conclusion. You never say what you found about penalty clauses in small business contracts, which weakens the strongest evidence in the statement.
Relevant experience
the delivery notes and the terms printed on the back of them
This detail turns an ordinary weekend job into strong evidence: you engaged with standard terms on your own initiative. Your point about policy knowledge at the counter is also perceptive. The advice drop-in is mentioned only in passing, so it reads as a listed activity rather than a reflected one.
Credibility and voice
financial records are useful only if someone else can follow them
Your voice is measured and honest, and lines such as "It was modest" add credibility. This lesson is sensible, but linking a board games society budget to company and insolvency work feels forced. The useful point is about clarity and record-keeping, and you could state that without the stretch.
Structure and format
the depth, the research discipline and the comparative perspective I currently lack
The structure flows logically from interest to dissertation, experience and aims, and the prose is economical. The conclusion is weaker. You mention a "comparative perspective" for the first time here without explaining it, and your career aim stays general, so the final paragraph adds less than the earlier ones.
What you’ve done well
- Your dissertation paragraph shows a precise grasp of the Cavendish test, a clear research question about the gap between doctrine and practice, and honest learning from supervision.
- Your customer service work is reflected on with insight, especially your attention to supplier terms and to how protection depends on staff knowledge.
How this draft could improve
- Add one or two sentences stating what your dissertation concluded, so that your research ability is shown through its outcome as well as its process.
- Either explain what you mean by a comparative perspective and why international sales needs it, or remove the phrase, so that the closing paragraph makes a concrete point.
- Shorten the society paragraph's link to insolvency and use the space to reflect briefly on what the advice drop-in taught you about accuracy or client needs.