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Science (Chemistry) personal statement example

Student-written example
  • Reading time: 3 minutes
  • Price: Free download
  • Published: 30th June 2019
  • Word count: 775 words
  • File format: Text

I have always been fascinated by science since I was small, but only recently have I rediscovered the meaning behind it. Humans are driven by curiosity and the desire to know more about the world and beyond pushed our civilisation to what it is today. Being a scientist means that I learn from the mistakes from the people in the past and using what they have discovered to realise new things, being a student of Latin in A-level, I realise the importance of language in our society across time, the treasure of recorded scientific writings makes it irrelevant for us to ponder questions that have once been thought of and solved. Instead we are able to use our limited time to think about new and profound questions that our ancestors could even never have thought about. The field of science means for me the continued exploration of the world, using foundations that have been built to construct new and revised foundations for the future generation.

I recently understood the theory that explains why water only freezes below 0℃, after reading the chapter on ‘Why Chemical Reactions Happen?’ By Keeler & Wothers, I learned that it is governed to the Second Law of Thermodynamics, as is everything else in the Universe. The heat that is released when water freezes must provide enough increase in entropy in the surroundings to compensate for the decrease of entropy in the water for the process to take place. And the entropy increase could only be big enough when the temperature of the surrounding is >273K, because releasing heat to a colder surrounding increases its entropy more than releasing heat to a hotter surrounding. At 273K or below, the entropy increase in the surrounding plus the entropy decrease in the system is >0, therefore it is allow by the Second Law of Thermodynamics: The entropy of the Universe can never decrease over time. This inspired me to always be curious, because even things that happen everything and seem the most conventional could have a much more complex theory behind it than most people think.

I seize every opportunity to attend events that relate to Chemistry in order to deepen my understanding in- and outside of the A-level syllabus. Recently I took part in a IR spectroscopy workshop where I learnt to analysis the composition of organic compounds with the results I got after learning to use the IR spectrometer. I learnt about the usage of MS including that we could do it with the whole of the electromagnetic spectrum, from radio to gamma rays.

I also have taken part in a 3-day-trip to the University of Bristol, where I had a chance to extract and synthesis chemicals such as Benzocaine and Caffeine. I really enjoyed using the equipment that I haven’t seen before, one of which is the Rotary Evaporator. It also provided insights regarding how studying chemistry at university is really like, the type of work involved and the environment in which I will spend the majority of my time during the degree.

I am a part of the school’s Mendeleev Society and have a chance to do the C3L6 past papers which not only prepared me for the actual challenge but also developed my critical thinking skills, and taught me to think carefully about organic reactions, and allowed me to learn more outside of the syllabus for example the factors that determine the stability of a carbanion and effects of surrounding functional groups have on the reaction pathways.

I have taken part in the Chemistry Olympiad and received a Bronze certificate, a result that I thought could be improved. After seeking help from teachers and spending much of my free time learning to approach questions logically and solving it step-by-step I tried again in the Cambridge Chemistry Challenge in June and successfully acquired a Gold certificate, which I am very happy with.

My role as a House Captain helps me develop my communication skills while working with other people in my house. I learnt to become more responsible and to act as a role model for younger students.

I enjoy playing team-based computer games outside of school as a serious hobby, and this has helped me realise the importance of teamwork and how to communicate effectively with other people in order to achieve a common goal.

I hope to earn a place in the course and place myself at the forefront of scientific research and discovery, I know that my curiosity will drive me to never stop questioning, to perform to the best of my ability and to always challenge myself in my studies.

9th September 2018

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

This chemistry statement shows genuine enthusiasm and some promising evidence: independent reading, the Bristol lab trip, competitions and a clear account of improving from Bronze to Gold. Its main weaknesses are a scientifically confused thermodynamics paragraph, a muddled spectroscopy claim, a generic opening and conclusion, and short activity paragraphs that list rather than reflect. Accuracy and depth would strengthen it more than adding anything new.

Subject motivation

Humans are driven by curiosity and the desire to know more about the world

Your opening talks about science and civilisation in general terms rather than chemistry in particular. The Latin point about recorded knowledge is an interesting personal angle, but it is buried in a long sentence. The freezing-water example, where your interest actually shows, would make a more distinctive starting point.

Academic preparation

the factors that determine the stability of a carbanion

Naming carbanion stability and functional-group effects shows you have gone beyond the syllabus. Give one concrete example of a reaction you reasoned through, and say what changed in your thinking. Your Keeler and Wothers reading is also good evidence, but only if the chemistry you describe from it is correct.

Evidence and reflection

I tried again in the Cambridge Chemistry Challenge in June

This is your strongest reflective moment: a setback, a clear method for improving and a measurable result. Elsewhere, your reflection often ends with general phrases like "critical thinking skills". Say which specific approach to step-by-step problem solving helped you, so the reader can see how you learn.

Relevant experience

extract and synthesis chemicals such as Benzocaine and Caffeine

The Bristol trip and the IR workshop are relevant and concrete. However, enjoying the rotary evaporator says little. Explain what a technique taught you, such as why rotary evaporation suits solvent removal or what an IR peak told you. The House Captain and gaming paragraphs read as generic teamwork claims.

Credibility and voice

I learnt about the usage of MS including that we could do it with the whole of the electromagnetic spectrum

This conflates mass spectrometry with spectroscopy, which undermines your credibility. The thermodynamics paragraph also says entropy compensation works above 273K and then calls the sum's components the wrong way round. A tutor would notice these errors. Check the chemistry carefully so your enthusiasm comes across as understanding.

Structure and format

I hope to earn a place in the course and place myself at the forefront

You use many very short paragraphs, which makes the statement feel like a list. Your sentences often run on, for example in the Latin passage. The conclusion relies on clichés and repeats "place". The closing date line is unnecessary. Grouping your experiences thematically and tightening the grammar would make the statement read more smoothly.

What you’ve done well

  • The progression from an Olympiad Bronze to a Cambridge Chemistry Challenge Gold, with the method you used to improve, shows resilience and self-directed learning.
  • Your independent reading of Keeler and Wothers and your attempt to explain freezing through entropy show a real appetite for underlying theory.

How this draft could improve

  • Correct the freezing-point explanation: heat released to surroundings below 273K gives an entropy gain large enough to outweigh the water's entropy loss. Also separate mass spectrometry from spectroscopy.
  • Replace the generic opening with a specific chemistry interest, and cut or compress the House Captain and gaming paragraphs into one brief line.
  • For each practical experience, add one sentence about what you understood chemically, not just what you did or enjoyed.

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