Science A levels / sixth form personal statement

Reading time: 2 minutes
Price: Free download
Published: 13th September 2019
Word count: 558 words
File format: Text

Science is a subject that builds and organises knowledge which is used to presuppose questions about the universe and being able to rejoinder them. The healing art also known as medicine is progressing at a epidemic rate however, this comes with cures as well as new diseases. The unimaginable discoveries being made have strengthened my passion to study these subjects and lead on to medicine. Rather then medicine being my childhood dream, it had stemmed from weighing the positives and negatives and how they relate to my own character.

My Choice of A-levels being Biology, Chemistry and Maths will be the initial bridge to a vocation in Medicine. My desire to study these subjects pushed me to become inquisitive about the lives of doctors. The book , “The other side” provided me with indispensable insight to a predicament. The author described her journey in a galvanising way through the eyes of a doctor as she was a medical specialist but at the same time suffering from cancer. It enlightened me that something so small can make such a large difference as for doctors, holding a patients hand for reassurance. This inspired me to volunteer to work in a nearby Pharmacy as well as Solicitors. This invaluable experience showed me being competent and yet being equal minded was something that was of great significance. This fortunate opportunity also postulated to me the importance of work ethic and professionalism and I was given an job offer straight after due to my strong commitment and readiness to learn and improve.

Proceeding towards higher education, I was a peer meditator. This meant I had the privilege to mentor younger children and enable them to engage with school and as well as out of school activities. Moreover, keeping younger pupils on track which consequently aided in the growth of my confidence when communicating. As well as being helpful to the students, it also proposed to the staff the real importance of good communication skills and the outstanding improvement shown by student-student interactions.

Having spoken to many students and doctors, I understand that medicine can be a stressful profession which is why it is important to find a good work-life balance. I personally am a very enthusiastic sportswoman. I take part in Police cadets where they make me march continuously for hours to build fitness as well as character. I’ve dedicated a lot of time and effort in to Cadets as it has helped impact my own personal development. Police cadets doesn’t only require physicality like many assume, rather a reserve of mental strength. It requires trust and one that teaches discipline. Furthermore, through Cadets I took part in the Duke of Edinburgh (DoE) program which enhanced my inter-personal, communication and team building abilities, valuable skills for any medical occupation.

My fascination with the workings of the most multiplex machine that is the human body, from the intricacies of cellular respiration to the complex structure of the human brain, has left me with no hesitation that I want to learn more about the problems and how to address them. I look forward to the social and academic challenges of Sixth form. I feel very equipped to undertake these three challenging A-levels to study medicine in the future as I believe I have the knowledge, understanding and skills which makes me a strong candidate.

28.12.2018

Why this example works — strengths and ways to improve

This sixth form statement shows genuine interest in medicine and offers usable evidence: a book, pharmacy volunteering, peer mentoring and cadets. Its main weakness is language. Misused vocabulary obscures meaning in several places. Reflection often turns into generic skill claims, and the scientific interest stays broad rather than tied to anything you explored yourself. Plainer wording and deeper reflection on one or two experiences would strengthen it considerably.

Subject motivation

it had stemmed from weighing the positives and negatives

Saying your interest came from deliberate weighing rather than a childhood dream is a promising, honest angle. You never say which positives, which negatives or which aspects of your character they matched. That leaves the reader unable to see your reasoning. Naming one or two considerations would make the motivation convincing.

Academic preparation

from the intricacies of cellular respiration to the complex structure of the human brain

For a sixth form application, naming specific topics is useful. Here they appear only as a list in the conclusion. You could briefly show what about cellular respiration interested you at GCSE, or what you read or investigated about it. That would show genuine readiness for Biology and Chemistry rather than asserted fascination.

Evidence and reflection

holding a patients hand for reassurance

This is the most reflective moment in the statement. A concrete detail from the book led you to an insight about small acts in care. Much of the rest reflects less well. Phrases such as "being competent and yet being equal minded" stay abstract. Explaining what you actually saw or did would make them meaningful.

Relevant experience

volunteer to work in a nearby Pharmacy as well as Solicitors

Pharmacy volunteering is directly relevant, and the job offer shows you were reliable. Peer mentoring and cadets are also good everyday evidence. The solicitors' placement is not linked to medicine, and the pharmacy is described only through general values. One specific task or observation from the pharmacy would strengthen this section.

Credibility and voice

used to presuppose questions about the universe and being able to rejoinder them

Words such as presuppose, rejoinder, postulated, multiplex and "epidemic rate" are used in ways that don't fit their meaning. "Peer meditator" appears to mean mediator. This weakens credibility more than plain words would. The closing claim of having "the knowledge, understanding and skills" also overstates your position before starting A-levels.

Structure and format

I personally am a very enthusiastic sportswoman.

The paragraph order is logical: motivation, preparation, experience, wellbeing, conclusion. Some links are forced, though. The book is said to have inspired work at a solicitors. "Sportswoman" leads into cadets rather than sport. The opening general definition of science uses space that a personal starting point would use better.

What you’ve done well

The book detail about a doctor holding a patient's hand gives a specific, personally reflected starting point for your interest in patient care.
You draw on a good range of accessible, credible experience: pharmacy volunteering, a job offer, peer mentoring and sustained commitment to cadets.

How this draft could improve

Replace misused advanced vocabulary with plain, accurate words. Proofread for errors such as "rather then", "meditator", "an job" and "in to".
Choose one experience, such as the pharmacy, and describe a specific moment, what you learned from it and why it matters for medicine.
Cut the generic opening and the overconfident final claim. Begin from your own reasoning and end with what you hope to explore in A-level science.

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